Due To The Nature Of My Being, I Have My Early Sunday Morning Prayer Vigil, For G20 Security Police and Shop Owners That Got Sabotaged In Toronto!

Absolutely crazy what went on in Toronto at the G20 Summit, these Anachrists must be stopped, obviously they are youths just out looking for trouble! I would hate to be the shop owners that have to pick up the pieces of their business' after violent acts were committed against their livelyhood. The problems in the World today that World Leaders have to contend with and these Anachrists that have cost Canadian tax payers a fortune in sabotage. By the looks of these rebel Anachrists and their age, I was in college committing my life to the way of the uniform and being a tax payer at the same age. The stupidity of it, lighting Police cars on fire, don't people realize the burning cars can explode, thank our blessing that the Police cars did not explode during the burning time before the way was secured for the Fire Department to handle the mess. As reported on the News, Toronto is usually a city of peaceful protest, these Anachrist that were caught should get 25 years of Federal time for industrial sabotage!!! Here in this morning News, some peaceful protesters were arrested, it is all so complicated,  in a park after 11 at night can get you trouble here in Montreal. It is the hooligans that do the damage to business' and property that have to be controlled with extreme measures. News teams had their vehicles damaged as well, where do these black bloc members get the money to be Anachrists and arrive at summits, they are the terror of peaceful protest! Here the Commissioner of the Ontario Provincial Police is saying on the News that black bloc are oraganized crime, still what do they do to finance themselves. I can not get financing for any thing and I am in debt with living in poverty most of my adult life. Almost 6 hundred arrests now, the cost to process these people through the courts, really how does one get a Lawyer mid day on a Sunday? So people do get Lawyers in the detention center in Toronto, still why don't people just listen to the Police to make things easier, like the media is saying the Police know who the main trouble makers are with their protest weaponary. In past posts I wrote things perhaps I should not have written out of paranoia and fustration with illegal entrance into my apartment, I still got the credit card receipt to prove it, someone left it behind! I gave a copy of the credit card receipt to my last resort income Officer when I signed my last declaration, hopefully through the banks and the courts it will settle out, all that I went through I certainly did not turn into an Anachrist, and I just get told I am delusional and hallucinate the News were I get my information from, partly of what transpired around me as an Internet Artist/Writer that never could amount to anything no matter what I did to get ahead in life. Then again certain politicians did single me out for comment as I caught clips of in the media. I even went to see my local Federal elected official over illegal enterance into my apartment and it amounted to nothing, I only have good intentions in my heart and still want to make something of myself with my capacity as a person with schizophrenic issues as I put it. Some times I feel unwanted due to certain comments by politicians about my situation, and it did lead my astray somewhat in my writingas with the stupidity of my life and the stigma that resulted around my Internet presence. Somewhere out there the answer is blowing in the wind and truths will come out as I pray for justice for all concerned in life's struggles. Little Note: I finally arranged for dental work being on me through the dental students at the Royal Victoria Hospital, and my last resort income dental card, thanks to having dental pain while in hospital this past hitch when I was in hospital.

Here I am Finishing Off My Theology Class And Finding Better Reading Material

Here I am at the end of my Theology class and in Hospital due to being poison in my apartment. So I spend a bit of time in hospital with blood testes and urine samples being done on me as I re-build my weight. Idiots thought they could do me in again, not with such high standards of Quebec Hospitals backing me, that is for sure!! It has been a while since I made a posting due to being in hospital but they grantee that they will take the very best of of me in lue of circumstance! Sure I am working on my final exam with my Priest in my Jesuit teachings at Concordia University here in Montreal, but I know I am not liked for my devotion to God, the mob has no prayers!!!! They even come after me in Hospital and my property has been destroyed because of it!. It is just a small blog posting to say that I am alright and my Priest and his assistant watch over me very carefully, along with the Hospital and our National Police Force, the one and only RCMP!. We are a proud Country that wants to see me further my education and skills as a person with schizophrenia. The budget that has been laid out to see me succeed is unreal! I owe our Troops at the front a word or two but I am still handling the fort at home for your wife and kids!!! Shit fucken happens while you men and women of honour handle the Taliban poppy fields abroad, your Doctor Goober Mickeal is here at home taking care of business where the Prime Minister can not, something about a change in Government other Parties teaming up against the Consevatives and Harper. Prime Minister Harper did make a stupid comment wishing my balls were done in some time back, while giving away a hockey puck with our National Emplem on it, to someone that was entering the Hockey Hall of Fame. (Update Jan 25 2009, Conservatives want to say I hallucinated this comment, I am talking to my Lawyer tonight, like they just said on the radio, everyones knows he did say it, what I hallucinate the radio at the at the Conservative Party's whim as well!!!) Hang tight you men and women of uniform, I now got this brown mould to handle in our dwellings as an Engineering Technician, love you all at the front as you love me at home.....Doc. (As known in the Canadian Coast Guard) Got to return to Hospital from a day pass, keep fighting like hell for our Country and Flag as I do at home!!! Many prayers watch over us as in my image!!!

Time To Make A Blog Posting And I Do Not Know What To Write So I am Winging It

So here I am sitting by myself like usual with the radio playing and for once I do not know what to write. My life has become really boring on disability pension, I really miss working and having the extra money from my labours. Grant you doing my art and blog writing is a form of work but it costs more money than it makes! I am getting fed up with the hospital programs that I attend, and still spend too much time by myself. Then when you write about it on your blog, you get all these match making Internet agencies emailing you that someone wants to meet you, what a joke! I average about 5 hits a day according to my sitemeter, and what ever I write about I get advertizing email asking for money I do not have, even my email box is lonely.My can of beer or two in the evening mellows out the boring day. Talking to other men my age or older, it is a common past time when we have nothing, we all drink too much beer. The only persons I have to phone are my ex-girl friend and and my Mum for my daily conversation for a bit, most other friends I can not get a hold of. With having no children of my own, I have no one to really think about or treat, so I end up treating myself to beer. A friend from the Art Group at the hospital got me out on a photo shoot this past weekend up on Mount Royal here in Montreal. I finished off my roll of black and white film on the mountain, and figured I got some pretty good shots walking the trail through the woods up the mountain. There we were , three male psychiatric out patients, middle aged with cameras and no money but trying to make an outing for ourselves. It was good getting out in the woods again with my friend from the hospital art group and meeting his friend that he brought along. Funny how I knew him from spending time on the psychiatric ward with him at one point or another over the years, like we all say, small world. At the end of the Saturday afternoon my two friends got the bus from the mountain home, and I went and sat down by my lone some self and did a sketch of a stone sculpture in the park at the top of Mount Royal. After doing the sketch I headed back through the trail and headed down the mountain to drop off my exposed film for development, then went for coffee before heading back to my apartment which I have nick named my demented prison. Sure I got my little art studio which I can produce in, but what am I supposed to do with all the art, I got no place to put it all and I can not seem to sell it. The price of gasoline seems to take up everyones extra spending money. I got a canvas on my easel with a sketch on it to be painted, it was inspiration from the person that got me arrested, before she got me arrested. I want to paint my layout but it hurts too much, sometimes I just sit there looking at the sketch and thinking to myself, "how the hell did I get arrested and spend time in shackles and chains". (See previous posting on the arrest) Just with getting myself arrested with trying to get answers if I hallucinate the News or not, drove me into a higher beer consumption which I can not afford. At least it helped me sort my head somewhat, more so than my Psychiatrist is capable of doing! Thank God for my faith in God, praying for those more needy than myself gives my life meaning. I gong in my candle and incense lighting while I say my prayers for humanity and all, the planet too, sometimes for sick animals, it can give meaning when there is none. Recently I have been reflecting of the days when I was young and earning $3500.00 over time cheques, never mine my regular pay. On that gross amount I would pay $1500.00 tax to take home 2 grand extra in a month. Now I feel like a burden to society and life loses a lot of its meaning. I really tried hard working while taking medication for schizophrenia, and I even lost that excuse for living over time. So here I am trying to sort out my head with being a financial burden to society on disability pension, yes a artist/writer that always seems to get done in with new contacts, I heard of blackmail working around me to drive me under. The majority of society does not like whistle blowers like I have been, and the majority of us that blow a whistle or two on something usually get done in. Yes, I feel like I did the right thing in the eyes of God, being a whistle blower on certain issues I came across, but it cost me everything, then again God is still there for me when no one else is!

My Mother Got Art and A Personal Poem Put with it For Framing This

Mother's Day

Having to watch my budget more living by myself, I created art and put words of gratitude together for my most deserving Mother. She was always was there for me in my youth, while in College and during my adult life dealing with my schizophrenia. I would like to share my words for my Mother as an example of many a Mum of a person with schizophrenia.

You Are Such A Deserving Mother

Let me count the ways you Mothered me!

You brought me into this World,

then prayed over my troubled start,

you kept me fed with a booby too!

Reared me to get off to school with a lunch box in hand,

you patched my clothes and sowed buttons here and there,

and I could always weasel pocket money out of you!

Then I went to train in a Government College,

you always sent me letters and care packages too,

you came to my graduation and no doubt cried with pride!

I found my way to serve my Country,

as an effective "schizo man" too!

You still Mother me like you used to,

with care packages and a twoony or two,

your prayers are still with me,

and you are the answer to my prayers,

being the Mother that you are!

My Mother has been there for me in so many uncounted ways over the years that I dealt with my schizophrenia, she is sill there for me in bountiful ways and I just wanted to give her this tribute along with all the other Moms, especially of persons with schizophrenia! Note, a twoony is a nick name for a Canadian two dollar coin.