Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XX Edition Xll

 

Doc GM

Here it is the start of another posting, how time flies when one keeps busy. The mental health team I deal with, is now getting to know me for who I am, along with my capabilities for work and building my company. With a lot of blood, sweat and tears as a mental health consumer in a up hill battle, in a Canadian socialist system providing free speach in a democratic society. Hate speach is not tolerated in our system, but I got caught up in it. When I cried wolf and then got deemed delusional over it,  I had nobody, while suppression and denial made me get out of hand  on the Internet.

People in general do not like being told what to do by a mental health person with schizophrenia. The old thought of the weaker mind of a mental health person, with so many people reaching out for mental health these days, we are all somewhat equal. We can be of sound mind, while still needing mental health support, as a fix one way or another in our modern urban jungle. 

It has been a quiet Christmas, mainly by myself, out side of attending Church for the Christmas Sunday service. It has been five years since Mum has passed away this December, I became more of a man being on my own, with no family close by, but taken in somewhat by my street as all sorts became my family in my community. I only have myself for survival tactics, with mental health services here and there along the way. I get my injection tomorrow and regular blood test and weight taken. I have put on a bit of muscle doing the physical labour as part of my routine, it also helps not being so medicated while keeping active. During the month of December with the Quebec Government issue of extra money, I have been buying bottled water and passing it through my filtering process. My filters do eventually clog from passing bottled water  through them. I made a smaller siphoning hose in diameter for handling 4 Litre jugs of bottled water. 

Had a good chat with my Nursing staff this morning while getting my monthly injection, and what it costs for a medium french vanilla coffee in that neck of the woods around the CLSC, that I attend for mental health. On their digital scales, I gained 1.3 pounds in the last month. I am taking a protein suppliment every morning for 10 o'clock morning break, my egg nog laced with the protein suppliment, has paid off over the past month, as I work at various jobs and art to stay active.  I am still on morning vitamin supplements which I take with my breakfast, even popping the supplements, I do it with my cleanest possible water. I pay for print outs and feed hard copies here and there of my water paper called, "Thristing for the Water of Life". A cross between theology and science, backing Moses and the water well concept, as to the properties of the cleanest possible water as a healing tool. I had a hard time getting my plants to grow in my chambers, until I started feeding my plants the cleanest possible water that I consume myself, now my plants are starting to grow more flourishing like, how else do you put it. So here is a picture of my now growing plant as it consumes my processed water like I do. This picture of my plant was taken on December 31 2022. 

I myself have been quite the flourishing plant in society, I forgot things about my life, specially where the first time going into mental health, was by having our RCMP put me in a holding cell, when the Pope John Paul ll was coming to St John's Newfoundland, after that day and night I was put into mental health. I now remember more about my training while being influenced with the media stimulating my memory some. What I went through to succeed as a mental health consumer, I now say I am an Engineering Technician first, mental health consumer second. This is a way of combatting the stigma that surrounds mental health. The system has changed for the better, more public awareness of mental health issues, and of course more people are affected by mental health, post initial covid lock down measures. Everyone handles mental health issues differently, the mind is like the last frontier of medicine, for it is not all black and white with gray matter in between. A mental health dianostic term is for the paper work, everyone is a individual and there is individual insight to coping mechanisms in mental health, what works for one, will not always be the way for another, in a similar situation balancing emotions and feelings. 

Now what is in Canadian society around me, my emotions and feelings are hampered by hurt this Friday the 13th, I was rejected from somewhere for my unjust criminal record, being present in my recent past. No matter what I try to do, there is always a stumbling block in my path, that makes this life in Canada impossible to succeed. Just march to the pharmacy every night, no matter what the weather condition, and pop pills for the Courts, as a reject from society with a criminal record, supposedly controlled by a chemical treatment plan. Tax dollars fighting tax dollars in the Courts with Lawyers, Judges and Psychiatrists doing me in with tax dollars, tax dollars dishing out the pills at the pharmacy, and I pay the price of life with tax dollars paying to feed, and house me. I get tired of it, who wouldn't ? Stigma is alive and well like always, just gets dished out in different ways at various levels of society. Once judged in the Courts, there will always be some form of condamnation along the way, we humans can be vefor a second ry judgemental of character and nature, it is no easy ride through the mental health way of life. 

When one door closes, it is like open a window for a breath of somewhat fresher air for yourself, meditate on it and pick another course of action to find relief from rejection. I got creative with an urban planning idea, and put it in writing. May be something will become of it with some effort put into the concept. Like everyone one else that needs money and security as we evolve with new health measures, while trying to do business when covid is still in our mists, I am determined to get out of the present living situation that I am in, I have out grown this place not drinking and smoking cigarettes. I invested in my water processing that I could bring to a more receptive environment of encouragement and backing. 

Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XX Edition XI

 

Doc GM

Here it is in the middle of November, snow came down today in Montreal, giving myself a chance to exercise a bit shovelling snow. It would be good to find a new place to live, the building where I reside right now, well it is on its last legs. With being a mental health consumer, I know the stigma from my Landlord's representative dishing it out to me, while not being a true Canadian but getting rich of the skin of the backs of others. Even my Social Worker in dealing with him, concluded that indeed he is a bigot as a Landed Immigrant. My very own parents were Landed Immigrants to this Country, but they tried hard to adjust and work at doing things the Canadian way, while still maintaining some of the old country's ways.

I am well rounded with a grounding staff though my faith and beliefs,, with a strong influence with my Scottish roots. I am not alone with my friends and family, that took me in their social circle in my nieghbourhood. With them I would have been lost coming out of long term care the way I did. It is like, do not go there, I now leave a lot of my past with psychiary in the hands of the legal office that I have right now.  They have gotten to know me, so has my Pharmacist, from me having to take the psychiatric medication infront of the of the Phamacist for the Courts, along with a home visit once a week. 

Through the home visits by the team of Medical Professionals that I try and work with, they get to see my art and engineering, such as my water processing system. There is no denial that my water filting procedure works, it is a form of occupational therapy within its self, along with my art and engineering that psychiatry once denied me for a period of time. I have been filtering water for cooking and drinking water since Oct 3rd 2022, it takes up a fair bit of ones time, note taking to record what I am doing. Along with revealing  my notes and findings to other oraganizations, industries, and in my neibourhood to my friends and family, along with my Church that I attend. On my well filtered water, I am getting more of my health back and gaining weight, I have gained 2 lbs in a week. Being Sunday today, I get my weight taken again at the pharmacy when I go there, and take the Court ordered medication, which is more of a placebo effect. With watching my weight, I lost three pounds but have more muscle tissue on my body. Searching on the Internet I discovered that muscle is more dense to fatty tissue. My belly has firmed up and I am eating a whole lot better, on the change of medication that I fought for, even although I lost three pounds. I know from the past that one will lose some weight firming up before putting on muscle mass. When one is processing water, you are manipulating 4 Litre jugs of water that are about 10 lbs each, which makes for exercise on a regular basis through out the day.

Funny how ethnic backgrounds can make judging people in different ways a handicap, perhaps due to the ethnic background  of individuals concerned. The first Social Worker that my Landlord's representative talked to on my behalf, was a female. Yesterday a male Social Worker of mine spoke to the building's representive, there was no problem, then again the second Social Worker was a male. Different ethnic groups treat women in different ways, my first Social Worker that spoke to the building management was a French Canadian female, how she preceived the Landed Immirgrant  gentilman, could have been stereo-typical differences from backgrounds of each other.  

Here I sit not knowing what to write, fustrated once again over having no one to have converse with. Knowing what I hear in the media, while having no side kick to discuss what the media is saying, and not handle it alone. Rumours float a bit too quickly like inflation, I have become well known in my neighbourhood, but housed up for the cooler less comfortable days, with the mish mash of what we now call gobal warming and server weather patterns to a northern winter we are faced with now. The COP15 summit is in Montreal and people are voicing  their concerns over the state of what has been done to the Planet. I know the results of my water processing, and the God awful state of the St Lawrence river where we draw our water for consumption, how I make the city water somewhat better than what the city provides. I am even buying and filtering bottled water, for consumption in cooking and drinking when I do not get enough city water processed. There was a program on TV about a research ship for water analysis on the seaway that flows through Quebec, it was a lot to handle knowing something about water myself and what I am getting out the tap.

What came out of my finger tapping over 18 years on the keyboard, some things should never have come out of me, it came from suppresssion and denial, it made me a very angry person. I still trying to pull out of suppression and denial, without having bitter sarcasm being published on the net by me, . Responsiblity came about through some reconition of what I accomplished with my water and theology paper in Google Drive. Even doing my water paper, it was done in the stupidest environment I have to live with, in this aging building that is wearing thin on my nerves.  I still have the nervous disposition about myself, I stopped smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol, my Doctor knows I still smoke some pot and I express my need of help to get off it.  The Pharmacist also knows I smoke, while realizing my situation where I say it is better than valium, and I am also followed by a lung Doctor at this point in my life. I am first to admit mariquania has an addictive nature like tobacco, that is why I need help to stop, like I had tools and help to quit cigarettes. There is still tar in some form in smoking pot that one has deal with, all the chemicals identified in cigarette smoking, to get medical mariquania as a base for a combustion process known as smoking, to lead researchers as a guide for medical consumption of pot with intention to quit.

Through all the years in mental health, I was always deemed unfit for work, but worked any way. Now as of this new year I am fit by some capacity for work, by a Quebec sponsored program and financing accordingly. It can not be held against me that I am unfit for work on documentation any more. I am fit by some capacity to earn a living, no matter how much or how little, I still get the reward of earning a living to some degree, while not being used as cheap labour by the stigma of mental health, which has been present against a person like myself when working or looking for work. Writing and editing my blog is work, my art and engineering is work, which I went to school to do these activities for purpose of duty to grow for self financing. Today's modern age, with computer technology, who is not fit to work in some capacity somewhere or somehow.

 

Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XX Edition X

Doc GM

            There it is on the radio, Putin would take me in and have me taken care of, too much blackmail to do me in, while here in the free democratic society. I could produce better, in a more of a protective environment, that would nurture harvested skills. Even appling for a job again, I was told they got a phone call not to hire me, just like it was about twenty years ago. Is this not a sign that democracy is failing? Stopping a person for what cause? When the individual being myself, justs wants to work towards financial independance from the state somewhat, instead of the state always dishing out to support me.  What psychiatry costs, chemical castration with a Psychiatrist and the Courts, for no good reason, all causing me emotional pain, along with costing tax dollars. Inclusive of my Legal Aid Lawyer to fight back, because I have a psychiatric problem as deemed by the Courts. I am just a health card number in line with others, that no one cares about the truth of my life. The Psychiatrist say what they want for the Courts as the expert witness of my state of mind, and most people will not touch the likes of me with a 10 foot pole with this background. I have written on this blog for 18 years now, not much good has come out of it. At least it was a place to release mental health fustration, when Pstchiatrists and their Staff members were bent on doing me in, when I claimed to have some media attention around my art and engineering.

            If I do not show up at the Pharmacy, to be the public pill popper as demanded by my Psychiatrist and the Courts, they will sent the Police after me, for an escort to a psychiatric ward for refusing to take the prescribed medication. I am not even suppose to bitch about chemical castration, with the cocktail of  pill consumption. In psychiatry over the years, Psychiatrists have chemically castrated me several times, do they really know what they are doing? Why use chemical medication methods, at levels to such a degree that you castrate the male? I am not their little pill popping experiment, but that is how it turns out.

            I am back filtering my city water for cooking and drinking fluids. Even although the Psychiatrist slandered the shit out of my water processing in the Courts. I once said to a Judge, the glass of water on your bench, you want to pass it through my filters that I developed. She took no interest, but listened to the Psychiatrist as the expert witness, to do me in with no appeal of her judgement. Let me guess, I was just another "schizo" passing through her Court room. How many others got the same judgement cast upon them, with the expert witness being the Psychiatrist, testifing to get what he/she wants as a chemical treatment plan, like I wrote, in my case leading to chemical castration. As to the present Psychiatrist, who said to me, "I do not care about your sperm", when I started complaining of sexual dysfunction, well what does she care about? So she knew what she was going to do to me, with the chemical castration as an end result of percribing psychiatric medication at her medication levels. This is no way to live, it is like a wasted life at the hands of psychiatry, someone want to give me a reason for what this is all for? An 811 Nurse informed me on what is in my psychiatric file, like he said to me, "this is impossible what psychiatry wrote on your medical file." They get off with doing and saying what they want, to the mental health patient that needs a Legal Aid Lawyer to fight back. Tax dollars being used to fight, the tax dollars doing me in, is the basic bottom line. Psychiatrist's always got their chemical treatment plan through the Courts applied to me, never was it ever mentioned that I should be doing some occupational therapy on the chemical treatment plan, I always came up with my own occupational therapy through working. What and this counts for nothing?

I have a dam good education in engineering and theology, when one goes to school at night, between books, tuition, meals and coffees, it was about $1000 a year in Quebec's CEGEP level. Over ten years I invest $10,000 in myself to build my life. Burseries account for twenty four credits at University level for about five yeatrs, my transcripts and tools etc, illegally went into a Bailiff's container with a Landlord.  How to support Ontario's Teacher strike! They have to pay for an education to teach, and one does not load their sixteen tonnes and go deeper in in the hole being buried in debt for nothing. I had also invested in about $10,000 in tools for engineering, which were stolen at one point in my life. 

            Appairently, one can only sue the Government of Canada, for a maxium pay out of $350,000,000.00, well so be it. Let the Schizophrenia Society of Canada have the money to help persons with schizophrenia, to make some small change for the positive. The cost of using the word "schizo", by an elected official to the media, was a very expensive mistake, I am still pissed over this. What I became when my community took me in and nicked named me. It is like another  A.K.A., on top of all the other names I have been called over a sixtious time span. Now reduced to Doc GM as a signiture name, not too sure what became of the Doctor Goober Modesty name, a lot of rumours float in the rains of gossip, as I am a rising star in art and engineering once again. It takes a community to save a life of the less fortunite, and there are multitudes of less fortunite, like there are multitudes of people with abundance, who have to help share the load of society, and not have a free ride through life at the expense of others. 

            My work and pleading to introduce my water processing into what can become a common practice for one's health. I am proving it once again working with a Pharmacist, 811 Nurse, a GP Doctor, and the unfortunite psychiatric past. Where one gets stereo-typed by the grey matter of the mind with schizophrenia, which is evident in brain analysis post mordom. Schizophrenia is through out all ethinic groups and delusion in some extreme religious practices can be determined. In the same light an apparition to a Theologian , is a hallucination to the Psychiatrist, found in schizophrenia cases, like in my own personal case. Working toward cleaner air through my window filters, I try to succeed against all odds, but Canada will not let me earn money due to sabotage endorsed by some as in my case histroy. Just because I carry the schizophrenia diagnosis, it does not mean that I am not an individual that is delusional about everything as Psychiatrists testified in Court proceedings. I have to try and convince psychiatry that my engineering is not delusional, it is still a malpractice law suit around this stupidity. I know what is in the media, through listening to  the radio and watching quality TV, which I do not hallucinate as Psychiatrists claim. 

            The stupidity of my life, even although I have installed window filters in my apartment where I live, and have a circulating fan with a filter on it as well, I still can not earn a decent living due to political interferance. Why is it so hard to to launch a proto-type design in this Country, Justin took the tatoo not me, I know all about the delusion of "tatooed into the faith of time", all these tatooed jealous people with their now medical handicap. I have no tatoo and I am perfectly healthy for my age and mental health status, while rebuilding again with sabotage doing me in everywhere. I have friends and associates with tatoos for certain reasons, the whole affair and original reasons for taking a tatoo has been lost. Email me if you are in the Montreal area and want window and ventilation fan filters installed in your dwelling, for the benefit of your health. Working together with financing, this filtering concept can be done in most dwellings, while developing the concept with what is yet to be put together correctly, by a competant engineering team. 

            I fought so hard for proper engineering application by guide lines for dwellings,when standing up for the National Building Code and trying to apply it, to stop gyprock over old plaster instalations. Then I now have unearthed suspended ceilings put up under old plaster ceilings. One problem ,when the roof leaks under wear from normal to extreme environmental conditions, how does one get to repair the old plaster ceiling, if they can not get to it for the suspended ceiling.

Rememberance Day 2022

            The above work of art was done while standing up for the National Building Code, I took it to my local legion at the time, and told them I needed help to get it finished, with the tomb of the unknown soldier to be painted in the center of the circle. The art was lost to a Bailiff's container, just prior to becoming homeless, but saved through the digital era. When I was standing up for the National Building Code here in Montreal, there was an ad in the paper for joining the Canadian Military Reserves, and indeed I did apply and made arrangements to somehow survive. Like a RCMP Officer said to me when my life was getting out of hand, "Never give up your hope", it was something like that, how can I qoute so many years later. 

                I started fighting for justice as a child, when pinned to the ground by two neighbourhood bullies, I screamed 911 repeatedly claiming an attempted robbery of Montreal Gazette collection money, which I had on my possesion. Sometime around that part of my life, I was taken in at a young age by Police Officers on my paper route. I will leave it at that for now. I knew by instinct to cut a deal to survive Canadian society while in Uniform in the Coast Guard training I went through. I admit I was used to complete a mandate which I have done several times over, being a special Artist through how my story panned out in nugguts of gold flowing in engineering and the arts around me. As it was mentioned to me, "what you are worth, now I really got to watch over you". Who is crying foul now? I have a lot of backing for doing what I am doing having control of my life again, to always being my basically happy in nature. I solved quite a few problems by processing my water again, and on the verge of landing a golden egg in psychiatry, through my friends and associates, with a Pharmacist that knows me better than the Psychiatrist. I have to deal with psychiatry for the Courts in mental health. When will the ball and chain of psychiatry be cut down to size for their stupid medical practice around me through unevolved Freudian concepts. So I am controlled by a Psychiatrist with the Courts and Tribunal Adminastratiff in Quebec, I have a good Legal Office at tax payers expense, fighting the Psychiatrists tax dollars to do me in with a chemical treatment plan, with no real proper follow up! I close for now, with my winning hand of my own occupational therapy to keep busy, and be a productive person in my community and society on the whole. 

Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XX Edition IX

                                                                              Doc GM

            Here we go again, the start of another blog posting. Time has past a bit too quickly, but that does happen when one keeps themselves busy. My company has had some income every month of this year, the end of September is near, and another quarterly financial report is due, for my Last Resort Income Agent here in Quebec. The stupidity of Canadian politics, the Provincial and Municipal Governments back my self employment efforts as a mental health consumer, where the PM's Office is sabotaging us with communist Ottawa on our backs, causing suppression, thus interfering with different levels of Government possible tax grap from me. What are the Courts going to say? That I hallucinated Justin making reference to a Merlin Priest while speaking at United Nations. I think Justin should explain himself to the Canadian people, on who is his Merlin Priest, and his pay scale and functions.

           As I work in the vacinity where I live, making some money self employed, while doing some physical labour as occupational therapy, thus saving my own life once again from being over medicated on a chemical treatment plan with no occupational therapy. I succeeded in getting my medication level reduced, and like I wrote in the past, I am now getting more and more organized while getting my act together to be productive. I always built my life through investing in myself, by working on scholastic education and partaking in the practical application of engineering, the arts and writing. Political inferance seems to be my handicap right now, stopping me from advancing to a higher income bracket more quickly, than what it is taking me now.

        Then of course there is all the talk that I am going to prison, to go to prison you have to pass through a Court room, while being defended by a Lawyer, and if need be cut a deal with the Crown Prosecutor. Thus making for a swift and speedy trial to save dragging out Court costs and legal fees. So stop yapping that I am going to jail, or come and arrest me on what ever trumped up charges you want to make around me.

        I am getting a charge out of my life now, thinking and remembering, 50 years ago September a Indiginous gal was the apple of my eye in first year of junoir high, then 40 years ago. I was out to sea, working 12 hour days 7 days a week, then 30 years ago I stopped the Montreal East End Oil Refinary from blowing up, it was around that time. through having a social with the Field Operation Manager and discussing our work to each other. Then 20 years ago I was standing up for the National Building Code still. 10 years ago I was caught up in crap around my Mother and I ended  up having to deal with a hitch in the Homeless Missions. I will zip it shut for now, my whoof and mouth disease is typing too much. So here is my Celtic to Indiginous style art of the Government Hound Dog below, sniffng out bull shit on a special leach as a schizo/genius. A long time ago I was told there was 1.5 million contrafeit Canadian Social Insurance cards, yea like what is going on all these years later. Zip...zipper style?

                  

 

            Some say to leave my blog as it is, even although it does not meet Google standards in substance, for Google advertizing like I had. This blog being my Court evidance of me and what I went through, from the mental health situation I am in. With myself being dubbed, a modern Canadian Otto Dix, another brillient German from the past, an Artist of WWII, who carriend his Troops through the trenches of WWI with his protraying  of it in art.  The following art in the picture below, is from an Indigenous Artist's concept, being studied by me,while her work was in a museum while I was in the homeless missions of Montreal, surviving a winter while finding my salvation. Now it is Canada's National Day For Truth & Reconciliation 2022 for remembering a sad part of Canadian history and dealing with our past as a Nation.

                    I have to deal with what I wrote on the Internet through being an angry mental health consumer, with the hospital being in denial that I had media attention going way back. It became a curse through the un-necessary suppresion and being told I was hallucinating radio and TV when I was not. The Pharmacy now knows me better than the Mental Health CLSC in Montreal that I deal with. I am a bit scared from it all, mental health is no bed of roses, it seems like it is more of a thorney path, and you have to watch your soul with every step.  I always felt different from the others in mental health, and fought for everything that I have, it did not come easy, I now own a lot of recycled furniture, building what I had in the past out of nothing. It has been eight years since I got out of a unjust incasaration in long term care. Then slowly making my point and through partly manipulating the system, to get less medicated from a stupid chemical treatment plan while having nothing to do. I found my own way of putting my talents to work, in a lot of cases I made no money, rip off working for nothing, but a labour of love to keep busy, and be productive while on a chemical treament plan in psychiatry. Through fighting for my own determined path to recovery, getting the medication changed so I could function, even if it was just for my own self determination. Psychiatry thought they knew me, but they never had the time to sit with me to nuture my intelligence for a form of occupational therapy, the system never reasoned with me, it was all Court ordered bull shit for chemical treatment plans with no occupational therapy plan attached to the Court orders. I have boxes of Court orders that need properly disposed of. With the change of medication levels so that I am not chemically castrated any more, I am not having the angure problem, while my particaular case of somewhat of a schizo/genius in art and engineering, the two fields of profession that I studied whole heartedly, is getting me through with self creating my own occupational therapy and  quality work habits on my own.  

                Part of getting my life back is owed to processing my water through filters that I developed and investing in for processing water. Moving the 4 L plastic bottles is exercising within its self. The healthier water I am pursuing, for cook and drink water for my coffees, where the discolouration of the my filters speak for themself. It is like the phrase, seeing is believing, I trust my work around my water science, even although a Psychiatrist  testified in Court that my water processing was more or less a delusion. 

            Here below, is an image of inspiration from a Church service. it is some sort of Godly thought of water and the plant life to make a surreal piece of art, as I wrote, it was done after an inspiration thought during a sermon in a Church service while in the homeless missions, when I was still banging out works of art in the missions. Feeling the gift of giving, I have a lot to be thankful for 

this Thanksgiving Sunday. It has been two years since I got out of a mental health hospital, where I ended up after doing my term under arrest by the State. I have a good team of Medical Professionals working with me instaead of being chemically butchered by medication. What it took for the system to see me as a public figure schizo/genius, my own occupational therapy worked, to the point where I am getting more and more acknowledgement in my community for my acomplishments.

                As to what I did emailing a lot of places, even sending my water research paper to a Zoo in Quebec, to get the chimpanzes to learn how to process water my way, for themselves and other animals at the Zoo. Like I wrote, volunteer work gets you things even if by being supported with food vouchers.  Thanksgiving words of wisdom that came to me, after my Church sermon I absorbed this morning, from my Reverand hosting the service:  "Being thankful for the blessings of hope through faith, even although the challenging nature of faith, causes one to curse their God, for the misery dished out to one in life. It is just God's way to set you on a path, to grow in various degrees of human nature."   

                Human nature and war, I do not want to take sides of the Ukraine war with Russia at this point, war is war! How to put it, what is the difference between Israel launching missles on civilians areas in Gaza, it is not a war crime too, but it is accepted military tactic, as Israel is a friend of NATO.  I am just debating this in my head, what is the Ukraine war really about? It is human nature for  some to be bullies with armies, and some people/politicians will not listen to reason, then war often comes about. I remember the first TV war as a child in Canada, Veitnam conflict, who backs who for what reasons? War is dumb but has always been in human nature since Abraham in the scriptures. 

            How not to make comments in public, as to in a coffee line this morning. A young Jewish lad expressed himself to the Cashier, "I am a Jew and resent what he wrote", heard while I was standing in the coffee line. The Cashier express herself back. "I resent what you just said, I am from Palestine." So it would have been best for Canadians to stay neutral in public conservation, and let the Government of Canada take sides by suppling arms and training to the Ukraine war effort. Thus putting Canadians to work in arms dealing, creating jobs where there is a shortage of manpower with steel toe boots, but our Government is a committed member of the NATO allegance, hence they try and fill the wrong shoes. To be there for more of a peace effort, if Canada had decided to stay neutral and try to broker peace with suppling food, water and medicine to the Ukraine. Thus putting pressure on both sides for  peace talks, instead of being an arms dealer, for a select few to get rich from the war.  It is next to impossiable for me to earn a decent living in Canada, due to blackmail that thrives in our democracy, that makes life in Canada impossible. Would Putin offer me work and a chance to breed, where I am not allowed to in Canada with being a schizo. To suit the Canadian Government, I can not crawl up into my Mother's womb and come out an abortion or miscairrige, she dead! I have no real family on this side of the ocean, really now, if I  get a pay cheque and fucked and blown, I do not really care who I work for, as long as I can earn a honest day's pay and do my taxes on money earned.  Yea like trading places, I go to Russia to work as an Engineering Technician and get decent housing, then an Ukraine refugee can have my room to rent with Quebec's last resort income cheque, and pay a Landed Immirgrant slum lord the rent instead of me. 

            To think, to be free of Canada's blackmail and politics, on the lunch time news, our Prime Minister used the word "schizo", and a reporter called him a biggot. One would think Justin had learned something about mental health over the years, with his Mother being a mental health consumer with bucks in her pockets/purse, for her status in the Canadian community. Only a schizo can use the word schizo, it is like the "N" word, Justin proved himself to be a biggot once again, with his misuse of the word schizo, in his news conferance today on Oct 12th 2022. He should resign from politics over this, his political theatrics do not wash over the schizo word!!! It is like Justin needs some sensitivity training over mental health issues, and what, tax payers have to pay for this too? 

        I am suing the Prime Ministers Office on behalf of all persons with schizophrenia, world wide, we will clean out Canada of all revenue and oil reserves to provide for my fellow persons with schizophrenia in a small way. Then I will get the fuck out of this demented country that gets no facts straight about any thing, what, everyone from my past got something to say in slander, which I will not have to listen too in Russia. Then when in public places, I am not going to have to hear that I am going to be bludgeoned, when I am in a safe environment like Russia!!!  Now that I broke this news, I hear the "Man", Putin has a daughter that is O positive like me. As to an RCMP concept, where there is one, there are more!  So Russia has O positive women by logical deduction, a fresh start in psychiatry and  on the chase for a woman to breed with, is something very attractive. With my grade 10 education from taking a course back in high school, I know I can only breed with a another human of the opposite sex that is O positive like myself. I will still get my Church on zoom and hopeflully I will make good contacts for developing my stethoscope probe as a device for a cell phone, along with my water processing. A chance to prove my water paper as being valid medically, with the results of consuming the cleanest possible water for cooking and drinking. I am sick and tired of the industrial sabotage that I have to deal with in this country, and living in an apartment with two very questionable characters. It has been 17 years since I touched a woman, two abortions later through help from Social Workers, and two women that tried to put me in prison for selfish gain, I have had enough of this crappy life. The abortions were to stop questionable women that wanted a child for financial gain from my hard working hands. At 62, I am really fed up, being in Canada really sucks!!! A lot of Canadians are still bent on putting me in prison, for what? Canadians and their petty problems of being jealousy people, that would rather ruin a person's life than see a person succeed, as in my story. To let the country know, I am like my Father, I can not be bought to be silenced like people that do anything for money. Here ends the lesson to Canada's corrupt bull shit around me.

        

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Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XX Edition VIII

 How Is One To Express Themself, When The Stupidity of Psychiatry Rules Their Life 

                Honestly, I am sick and tired of this life ruled by the Courts and psychiatry, and what does the Psychiatrist care? The system has had me walking to the Pharmacist every night to take medication infront of one of them. No one cares about the side effects of being over medicated for my skill level and aptitude, to the point where once again a female Psychiatrist has taken my sperm away with medication.  I suppose she has got side effect medication to give my sperm back as well, which I doubt. Like she said to me, "I do not care about your sperm" While being alone with this issue, when their are 9 staff members getting a pay cheques, just backing up the Psychiatrist and doing me in with a chemical treatment plan. I am not suppose to bitch and complain, just swallow pills, all at tax dollar expense, while the system provides nothing in return. If I want treatment, I am to go to psychiatry emergency, for what? More wasted money with Doctors sticking together like glue, when they are doing in one of my testicals as a end result of their chemical treatment plan, that I have to follow or they will send the Police after me. Some body want to correct me for being wrong about this? I should not be feeling like this about the system, I have lost faith in it.

            I wake up and get my vitamins in me, with a bit of a snack. Until I wake up from the sluggish body from the pills the night before. The testical is still sore, I will have to now pop some pain killers. This all came about from a urinary track constipation induced by the antipsychotic pill consumption. Where  there is after drip when ending to urinate occures. Well what now, I just heard on the radio that Doctors resent my comment about sticking together like glue. Well the Psychiatrist and medical profession say I hallucinate radio and TV, so the antipsychoatic medication is not working but giving unjust side effects. I am sitting alone wondering who to call for my testical issue? All I get is an answering machine from my mental health system, I managed to get an appointment with my GP's Nurse, one problem, getting there on the other side of town where one needs a car. 

            Hopefully when I get to my GP's Nurse, something will be done with the over salivation I am experiencing as another side effect of the psychiatrict chemical treatment plan, I am tired of the drouling and spitting saliva when I talk. I do not make for good company as a result of this, just driven more into isolation from the mental health experience. For their medicale advice over the saliavation, they want me to put another chemical under my tongue, what I am suppose to do? Submit to thier money making medication skeme, off the skin from under my tongue? Then who in their right mind would want a medicated saliva kiss? I have lived and functioned on less medication in the past, without all these complications.

        Then as another side effect, the medication changes my focal point for my bi-focal glasses, which I just bought last Novenber/December. I do not believe what my life has become, being a lonely public pill popper for the Courts. I admit I have been in this position most of my life, somehow for the pain of it, I will puff on a bit of pot in a small pipe, it is also a way to get food into me through assisting me to feel like eating. I withheld writing these issues, hoping to have some workable treatment plan, one gets no where in this Court ordered system of psychiatry, yet to find away to over come into a healthier situation with some basic life essentials. More than likely be the death of me trying to achieve something better for a life.

        After my meal thought, how I feel betrade by the system that educated me, as I educated myself within the system. Logic process in my mind, like a game of chess, but developed in engineering line of thinking, to survive what I have been through. It still gets dam depressing trying to succeed with my tool box of ideas, such as processing water for health, helping in colonscopy which I did with the evidance of positive results when practiced. Why was I stopped from processing my water several times from sabotage, like other engineering interlectual property I conceived over the years. I am still waiting for returns from old investments in time and energy from years gone by, to a lot of my art I put together over periods of my life. 

        My bitterness comes out in my writing, now I have extrapyramidal side effects from long term use of antipsychotics again. They have come back once more after being free of EPSE for some time. I made a short video of my contractions, and emailed it searching for help. I know I am drinking too much coffee, which does not help the situation any, where does one turn when the system works against you. This posting has become mess up thoughts, frustration at its peak, I have to leave soon to go to the pharmacy for the ritual pill popping.

           How to edit all that I have written, now that I am home knowing I am a mixed bag of emotions. The years have come and gone, eight years since coming out of long term care. That time period slanted the system against me, I am now off the drug that started my urine after drip as a result of urinary track problems, the Doctor said I was getting older, I did not swallow that too good. The problem started on a certain drug and I mention this fact to my attending Psychiatrist, after he started my prescription. Now I have the problem full tilt and yes off the one certain drug. Like one TV Doctor said, "Sometimes the patient knows..." I knew my body at that time, I was donating blood and all before long term care, my first arrest was the mind blowing part to the psychiatric record for the Courts.

        Why was I suppressed the way I was? I always heard it stemmed from south of the border, Americans did not want me to succeed or something, I wrongfully did American bashing out of it, who is suppressing who around me.? All I know is the media attention is real and I am alone with the gossip of a grape vine. I never knew what my brother was up to in life, I only hear rumours of what he has done, which was not exactly for the benefit of man/woman kind. 

        With regards to my comment on how Doctors stick together like glue, my science of theology and water paper that I put together as a visionary schizo/genuis, with my filtering process. Doctors seem to admit the healthier benefits of cook and beverage water that go through my process of filtering by gravity. People admit what I accomplished by doing the filtration process for themselves, and getting their own results. All in the benefit of human kind, sharing medicine through Doctors of Medicine and Engineers Without Borders, with myself being an associate member of Engineers Without Borders, as an Engineering Technician. 

        It came about that I did a search on the rhesis babies, comparison to schizophrenia, and yes indeed there is a known link. Then answering to the Godly science of medicine, justifing  myself with schizophrenic issues from a young age. I trained myself diligently for certainly being with the spirit and stategy, in the fabric of my being, coming of age with knowing my schizophrenia from my birth, through the education stages and backed by medical records. Forestalling a clash of interests, staying calm trying to be of reserved spirit. Yet still in strong spirit as much as possible, hoping not to cause unsettling accounts of experiences but do. I studied my own strategies to become indepth of my own winning spirit, to have the financial victories for oneself as in yesteryear. Tomorrow should then surface as a victory that becomes easier for survival, as a financially rewarded person, for stature of place in a largely unrewarding structured society, one falls into with the associated stigma complexities and practice of mental health. 

        The logical deduction of a basically lonely life, is to thrive for something, a meaning to the pharmacutical science for a chemical treatment plans for the "schizo" state of being, lost in a unresolved confused thinking process for lack of social life with others. I have been there, taken to hospital and adapted back with some norm quickly, around the social structure of being an inpatient.  I used to always work with the hospital staff on the ward, I had methods to lead telling the staff engineering problems with  the ward, sometimes I was deemed delusional around my engineering when I was not. The Nurses and BAP's on the inpatient side of things, knew I worked closely with student nurses on the mental health team, giving them visionary thought of automating the equipment that they were learning to use on rounds. I showed inpatient staff air and water filtration. I told them to take the concept to the engineering students from their schooling system. Why am I still alone if I have all these assets of inspiration from engineering.?

        Here today being Sunday within my time span of writing my posting, I am left thinking about the concept of sin. I once came up with the word Envirosin, as a way to admit to doing things that were not so eco-friendly to the planet. Then it became Intersin on the net, firing away wrongfully as an end result of suppression and bullying keeping me in poverty. My Psychiatrist deems me delusional about media attention and being a public figure in art and engineering. I have had to deal with this situation for too long now, since I became aware of the media vine of attention, like a political hot potatoe in some cases, with reference to my situation being  made.   

        I have become well known in my neighbourhood, I always related the words "my brother the old pirate bought I, sold I , thought he owned I". stemming from a musician's song of redemption, I sure relate to his lyrics. When I think back, going through the Courts in mental health, I was never treated like a person of engineering stature, even when I offered to pass the Judge's  glass of water through my water filters.  I am still fighting to get proper space to process my water through the filters I developed, with the reverse osmosis system, by using different coloured spectrums of light, in a time laps setting.

        I also have put together a window filter, and installed it in my kitchen window, at the same time my air circulating fan has a filter on it. I am yet to put up a second filter in my main room that I rent to sleep etc.. My community on my street know me as the little Engineering Technician, that earns his keep with their help, while  I invest in my proto-types, which are my design and fabrication side of  my company, investing in my conventional products inclusive of my conventional art products. I am an Engineering Technician first, schizo/genuis second, one feeds the other in skill development with schooling and work to over come mental health issues, no matter who you are or location on the planet Earth. I had to come up with my own occupational therapy, while on the Psychiatrist's the chemical treatment plan in mental health, chemical treatment plans do not work alone.

                With the times being what they are,  I am posting this peice of charcoal drawing, how to be a gentilman, and honouring the passing of Queen Elizabeth II. I always believed in the Queen, and  prayed she would  see affairs of the Throne through, to the best of  her ability. 

                I enjoy challenges, here is one challenge for someone to answer for me, how is it a person that does not read or write English nor French, how can said people get a driver's licence in Quebec, or run a honourable business as an owner, to owning property. I get by doing work self employed through my company Creations Doc GM here in Quebec, and Doc GM Creatilons in the rest of Canada,  by knowing how to read and write for taxes etc. It is just how to curtail this lack of education situation, that has landed imirgrants succeeding more than others in this country called Canada. My parents were landed imirgrants, I got no problem with individuals from these roots, it is how to work together for fair wage between both business associetes, without scamming slave labour out of a Canadian that is educated like myself. There are labour laws and wage control in Canada, the present system fails when people in general end up working for next to nothing, and the rich get richer off slave labour, using people while breaking labour laws by  Canadian standards. This does go on, I got used as a slave in my neighbouthood by a "bull shit" Landed Immirgrant, who is a business person that used me and my psychiatric financial benetfit for my income, during a time period, when I was proving I can work while taking my mental health medication.  The business person  I was involved with, was  getting me to work but with me getting caught up in not being paid for services. If one can not read or write english and french, how does one make an informed vote as a Canadian citizen?  To filling in government paper work and all, I know this goes on, but how do they get off with it?     

                The supper time News was interesting how a manufacture gave French lessons to his multilingular staff of Landed Imirgrants, so that they could better themselves in the system insituted for language protection of Quebec's French speaking community. Going way back I had an employer that would pay for my electrical lessons in school after work, in passing the course it would get paid for, and a pay raise insentive, that was when I came back from the coast dazed and confused with my schizo issues. It was my first job in Montreal related to the engineering field, I have since built a solid engineering back ground, from ships to land based production establishments, of invested money for jobs in the Canadian economy. 

            Fishing through my blog, I do not remember all the bashing on the net that I did.  Why did Bush say what he did, appairently he was another politician that had a gripe about me before I knew it myself.  How sorry it got, when  too many people got out of line running my life and denial of who I was, to who I became as a man, working through a mental health system since 1984. I started writing my blog the beginning of 2004. Now I am in control of certain aspects of my life, still forging away in art and engineering, physical labour, along with writing to have a honest bill in my pocket once again like I acheived in my youth.

Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XX Edition VII

Getting More And More Done Around My Apartment, Now That I Am Not So Medicated

        Between doing odd jobs around the building I live in, like handling the garbage bins with the garbage truck crew, while starting up doing art again, with recycling as a theme. With some of my personal items, recycling and designing, I made a simple engineering drafting/art board, for today's accomplishment in the Montreal heat wave. Here is a picture of what I engineered for myself, as I forge ahead with my developed skills.

            I am also recycling more by handling the garbage bins, taking out electric/electronics from the city garbage dump and water table, through taking them out of the trash bins for environmental concerns. There are people that stand by me, to do garbage with strict  enforcement, to help save Garbage Collection Crews from dealing with lack of co-operation from community dwellers. How to sort out a mess of green, brown and grey building bins for recycling, garbage and composting, While all the unwanted garbage made from what is suppose to be recycled, is left for someone to sort out in adverse conditions.  We all have to do a bit more to save ourselves and what has become the state of the planet. I was advised by medical care to join a gym, with the lack of financial resourses, I work a bit doing the garbage bins, and stripping down electrical household items that are put out to the curb. Taking the controls out of them while putting just plastic from the items in the recycling bin. I was given a garbage bin and I marked it for recycling electrics/electronics, to be recycled right      

            I more or less volunter to help with the garbage bins with the waste disposal team from the city. I bleach the bins for the white parasites in the street garbage containers, with a tool I recycled from the garbage and purchased a part to make it operational.  I am trying to earn extra money from doing this physical labour once again. It was my GP in medicine that wanted me to get in a gym, I could not afford that at this time, so I am trying the physical labour handling the garbage bins for exercise.  Then I also use an covid bio-spray on dwelling common  door handles etc, I do not work for free, this is  a much needed service. This building I live in has had its day, and needs leveled, rebuilt for apartments and electric charging stations for cars in a re-structured design and construction methods for 2022 standards and evironmental considerations. 

            The social and theraputic environment I am in now, is more founded with roots growing from March 2014 when I came to this neighbourhood. It has been a long haul trying to establish myself after long term care for 8 months, I will leave it as no comment at this point. The whole affair was stupid and unjust administering of the law. The mental health system failed me and the mental health act needs some hole patching and strenghtened out with a germ and virus act, in paraelle legislation for prosecution or defense of a mental health consumer for the Courts, or anyone one else for that matter. 

            Appairently people want to drag me through Court again, now that I am rising in popularity with people that see me trying to be a leader in handling the garbage bins on my street, while controling  the white parasites in the bins. I built my life through the pyschiatrict shcool of hatd knocks, and blooming as something special instead of that stereo typed mental health consumer, that is the ugly duckling at first licks. I turn sixty two this August, and life is turning around into stability with a sound environment, working with the Pharmacist, Doctors, Nurses and Social Workers. I develope my own occupational therapy through pysical work and writing efforts on several papers to succeed once again and feeling myself worth out of it. 

            This piece of art was done when I was being processed through the Courts for an unfortunite arrest and due processing. Symbolic of breaking free from these chains of suppression, as depicted by a wall with a path through it, to some sort of break away from being confined with the stygma of mental health and ensuing bullying around it. My Father told me a bit, of how my brother bullied me around the wagon he made for us. I guess it never ended, and some sort of political might of bullying  against me came about. I learned the hard way, I never knew what was going on around me with people that followed my brother, they deem me as their slave, or some dumb idealogy like this, and try to bully me into that position. How I rose to break free of this God awful mess I fell into, I will be getting retribution with time through the Courts, with a Social Worker Team aligned at my side to see me succeed. My tools and equipment I put together over time, since long term care, are going to pay taxes again !            

            I claim all money I make from tips doing, Dep and Tim runs for associates. They add up over a month as income and justifies my being, for doing some sort of work in my community, that took me in without judging the colour of my mind, through the grey matter of my brain, as to schizophrenia post mordome analysis. The mental health staff that over sees my life, how do I word it, do they really care about me or is it just a job for money? No one in mental health industry has ever got me a paying job, I did that on my own, hiding the mental health issues to get work. Psychiatrists that write medical forms for individuals, and the Government that issues the mental health cheques accordingly. The Psychiatrist can not even get the facts straight about unfit to work etc. For getting monetary income,  the Psychiatrist signs your life away into poverty as a consumer of mental health system, one is written off as unfit for work. By what they write for a lame excuse for their patient to get money. If the mental health system really care about one like myself, who worked all my life while taking mental health medication, I would not have to argue my point at the age of 62. I am high functioning and fit for some sort of work as an engineering technician, but the system falsifies documentation  that I am unfit for work. One can not live on a mental health provincial alotment alone, it is not enough money, Mental health staff get all the money for dragging me through the Courts for their bennefit to have a secure job, I am alone with my issues and the staff I deal with have no time for me. I get a home visit once a week for what ? Giving the mental health worker power to run my life with the Courts, and nothing gets accomplished but me popping pills, while fending for myself to earn extra money with the side effects of medication. I even had to argue my point with Social Services that I deal with, over claiming the money I make. I should get a pay cheque for teaching the system about claiming money one makes, and how to work the books with informing the Last Resort Income Agent in Quebec, all the money made during the month, no matter how little or how much. I should never had that arguement with mental health staff, the stupid blackmail around me is more of a handicap for getting work, not my mental heath condition or status. It is not my fault, where it seems half the country wants under the table money and pay no taxes, they never thought about provincial taxes and paying into a Provincial Government pension plan. All these jealous people over my provincial pension cheque, because they do not have, due to not claiming money made over "x" amount of years. Then when one gets caught not claiming money, they bitch at the Government catching them, like they are up to no good, collecting taxes etc from unclaimed revenue. This gives someone a good paying Government job in a well structured system, of taxes and tax refunds, while policing the same system of monitary rules and regulations, to catch the determined scam-artist. The scam-artist ends up in a senoirs residence like everyone else, but sharing a room with a person, with a welfare cheque of a income, pensioned off with nothing in money or assets due to having a life time of scamming, then maledies or old age sets in, just costing the socialist system much needed money, where it is needed the most for senoirs care, as we grow in elderly population and health care needs. 

                I can never retire with my present financial income, I have to work until I drop dead on the job or something just as stupid. I can not get my inheritance because of what my brother did to my Mother's estate and assets. It has been five years this coming Christmas since my Mother past away, I only have myself to care for with my limited income, until if and when I get my inheritance.

                At the age I am now, I have come to realize how people in general, can not handle being corrected by a little schizo like myself. That applies to mental health workers as well, I can not be wrong over everyrhing, I am not as delusional as made out to be by the mental health system and the Courts. Why is it I have known more scammers on welfare than wholesome people that believe in paying taxes ? It boils down to having nothing for my labours, such as for the chores of cleaning the apartment and being the only one paying for cleaning products. I do the work around my shared apartment trying to keep it clean, while handling the garbage bins of this multi-unit building on garbage day, with the recycling truck or garbage vehical. Garbage and recycling services of the city are considered essential service, as to working  with the the city crew and keeping the bins clean from these white parasites and other dirt that builds up in the bins, causing offensive odors from the city collection bins. Someone has to do this job for the building I reside in, it will have to be settled in Court, me against the Landlord of this building I live in. The building representative asked me if I wanted to work for him, I said yes with giving him my business card, but the landed immigrant decided no, putting his own kind from his country of origin, to work instead of me around the building. By voluntering one can get work by the reputation of the person doing the voluntering, volunbters higher amoung themselves as believing in volunteering.

                

            

Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XX Edition Vl

 

Finding My Way While Having Very Little, Trying To Cope With The Stigma Of Mental Health And How One Is Treated As A Weaker Human As A Result Of It

            I have a complex about my mental health situation, going back around 15 years now, I was giving blood donations, getting through some university schooling and building an art career. Around that time I started processing water through my own filtration process. I have lost everything more than once in the hard school of mental health knocks. My engineering was deemed delusional by mental health staff and I became all the more bitter with intoxication of aggression on a keyboard with the whole situation. Now faced with pretty well only having a chemical treatment plan, while still having no one to talk about issues with, since when and why I got my first arrest. The system and the Courts do not have the money or will, nor the desire to sort out the truth, or I would not be in the mess I am in with psychiatric care. What went on around Psychiatrists and I in court, nobody wants, it is demeaning. The little schizo as a burden to society, that psychiatric patient that must be controlled by the Courts, instead of a round table of compromise. I am going on 62 soon, life should have become a little bit easier, somehow to prevail in the system with the "schizo/ genuis" concept, which psychiatry says they have not encountered before. I had inventiveness in engineering at a young age, before consuming any alcohol or smoking pot. Which could explain why I had such a hard time at mental health, I had a education at my side as a mental health consumer with the attached schizohrenia title, that always tried to work in engineering. One could say their was something different about me from a young age, being bullied a lot for example, as I grew to what I have become with my qualities and down falls in suppression. I still  try to make something of my life with the limited help I do get with social services in my Province and some self employed income from errands, along with looking for additional work in my field of engineering.

            I wanted a round table agreement being made in mental health around me for a long time, the mental health act failed around me, looks like I am going to get a mess of facts sorted out, through cross referencing my medical file and blog as a testamony of my life since 2004. I do have interlectual property like anyone else, it is just why, can I not reap some financial rewards from it all. I was one of the first rhesis babies and was given blood transfusions and experimental medication to keep me alive from birth. I had a skin rash on a finger going through high school, the cream did not come cheap. When I started smoking pot under age, wrong  as it was, but it seemed to help with the iches and flaking/cracking of skin on my finger. Now I am on lung medication for what my lungs have been through from the ships, industry to smoking combustibles. It is quite the process to stop smoking alone, with the pressure cooker of mental health for a balancing act, nervous as I am, I am still not consuming cigarettes or drinking any alcohol. 

        I have got my present Mental Health Team working more on my side for the Courts, doing a comparison study between my Welfare State Office, medical file, and my blog for dates and all with what has transpired. Ones signs paper work with a Social Worker that they have access to my Welfare file, so does my Lawyer.

        The science of theology does not mesh well with the science of psychiatry, I was deemed delusional over processing and filtering water using natural spectrums of light, that are part of rhe Trinty while also being found in nature. I was pre-cancer at one point and solved that problem with my Doctor in colonosopy, through a water filtering process. Exodus to Moses, cleanest water well to heal with a team effort along side medicine, through reverse osmosis on water, as taught and trained, between engineering science and theology, of this devine Planet.  How to pick up all the pieces of what we have become with divide and fractured terms of thought. Environmental  politics to start preserving as much of our urban salvation, no matter what habitat with the changing climate, I keep these two coins in my pocket as a reminder of my Canadian roots, and the Peace Tower in Ottawa:

                I am still left wondering why it is so hard for me to earn a living, but things are turning around, with acknowledgement of my capabilities in my roaming around the city, trying to accomplish more in my life with my skills at hand. Art and engineering are both developed skills I worked at, with the age of me and being stunted in financial growth from various sources, it is now unravelling over time between regulatory bodies what truths lie out there around me. As people get to know me personally, I am not the problem that mental health made me out to be in the Courts. With being alone I have lacked good conversation, and to have an editor to help a bit for my blog even, could come in handy. I just told my mental health story, it was not all a pretty picture of what mental health can be like, truth usual does cause some crunching and pain along the way, the system did not like my version through an educated consumer perspective.

            I was searching for something long ago, I did not really know what it was. Finding an answer  spiritually was part of it. Once in hospital, when first entering mental health in 1984, I said I wanted to study theology. Later in life, like the recent past and the present, I am finding myself with my roots of Christianity, while coming out of a cave in thought. Will the Psychiatrist question what happened to me, through thinking out side the psychiatric box, so that they see there is more to my engineering, art and being as a mental health consumer, than they actually saw me as. 

        I fired out on the Internet, and wrote somethings I should not have. I also viewed and heard newsclips I wish I did not see or hear. Mental health staff said I hallucinated the TV and radio, when I was not. I made a lot of mistakes under this suppression, which was even denied around me as well. Bitter and still looking for and desiring a qualitive conclusion to substantiate justice, for me and others in mental health that find themselves in the Courts, from being accussed of something. The mental health consumer is not always to blame, some of us are bullied as a weaker being, as in my case, so there must be others in the same perdicament.

 

The above work of art has become a bit of a contraversey unfortunitly, I will explain some of the art. In grade 7, the apple of my eye was a Canadian Indigeous gal. Up in the woods as a teenager, I made an actual hatchit/tomahawk, and gave it to my first sweet heart.  The atire around the waste is a cross between a  Scottish kilt or Roman Century, as to an original Native design of loin cloth of buck skin, with some bit of a present day steel toe boot on. Then a Bowie knife in the left hand. The sun in the upper right corner, is a mandela in art. Siymbolizim in art can be very powerful, from cave drawings in anthopology, to forging stone in shape and form to produce art with electric tools, to charcoal on paper as seen below.

            Like someone said to me, in my neighbourhood with my family of friends, now that we have raisen in popuality in street talk, we have to watch what we say and do more closely. That includes what I write, draw and engineer as a technician. Trying to earn more money by putting my body back to the physical labour. My GP Doctor wanted me in a gym working out, to improve my condition after a couple of examinations. I could not really afford a gym and all, working to keep in shape while covering for one of the building team. Now we are all going fishing for a bit, it is just what we are baiting our hooks with, to get ahead in a Urban Jungle of a Metropolous. 

        Going fishing for answers still, what I found in my blog, yes it was American bashing, but I had to deal with a rebel flag bandana over the National Building Code and what went on with me fighting back with nothing but a key board. How do I pray for our American cousins in North America, I have family in various parts of the States, how do we keep deadly weapoins in North America in the correct and appropiate hands through tuffer legislation, to have more resourceful laws around gunpowder and associated machanical  equipement. What ever goes on in the urban jungle, I have become very much more known with my engineering and creativeness in the arts.