Fall Colours Are Starting On The Maple Trees As Canadians Work Their Way Through September And As I Handle The Extra Paramidal Side Effects
As it turns out the Court Ordered injections of anti psychoticmedication really hamper me with the EPSE and my new attending Psychiatrist is trying to rectify the problem with adjusting the dosage and the time span between injections. Right now I get the injection every three weeks and the Doctor reduced the dosage by one third, but I still have bad bouts of the EPSE for two weeks but seem to be OK during the third week where I can function without the EPSE. This is when I get things done around the apartment. It seems like when I have the EPSE if I lie down and close my eyes it stops the EPSE and I just lie in my bed listening to the radio. As fall is coming upon us this week and being the third week after my last injection I have picked up the guitar and have been practicing again. I have not really done any art but I am ancious to paint a canvas again but it is like my big statement, where do I put it or what do I do with it. I have missed painting on canvas the last while and I have several art designs on my mind to do. I got out last Friday with my camera and finished off my roll of black and white film while walking along the canal on the bike path with an old friend who always stood me and encouraged my artistic talent. The only real problem with me doing black and white photography is the cost of the development, around $30 Canadian to develope a roll of 24 images. This is a chunk of money out of my budget but thanks to my Mum giving me left overs from her kitchen along with visiting Mum for meals I do not bad. It will soon be DEcember before I know it and that would make a year since Dad pasted away from lung cancer at 85 years old. I started this post before the evening News with the image and the caption in bold lettering and thought that I would write in the morning, but I could not sleep so I got up and starting writing my post. Having missed the last two sessions of music therapy at the hospital due to the EPSE being so bad I am looking forward to this group session on this coming Wednesday. I am really fed up with the EPSE cramping my style and activities, I am due for another injection on the 27 of this month and want to go on the pills instead of the injections, that will be a hell raiser to work out with the hospital staff and the Courts, then before I know it, December will be on us and back to another Tribunal hearing for following up after getting arested for trying to charm a woman and getting nailed for harassment charges. I still spend most of my time by myself except when I get together with my Mother. I do not attend the art group at the hospital this semester, mainly due to trying to sort through the EPSE and being able to function without the involuntary muscle contrations that make the EPSE, it is hard enough trying to be a regular at the music group. Here it is coming up four o'clock in the morning so I am going to try and get some sleep.

Have Not Got A Whole Lot To Write About, Just Trying To Find Some Words

My life has been rather boring and I have not got a whole lot to write. I still attend the hospital music group and spend most of my time by my self. The extra paramidal side effects still hamper my life some what after I get my injection and they taper off before I get my next injection. Hema Quebec called me again to give blood and I booked an appointment with their mobile unit at a mall in my community. I just came back from the pharmacy getting a print out of the medication I take for the Nurse at Hema Quebec while going through the registration process. So I got something to do next week besides my music group and that will be the forth time that I give blood. I never gave blood when I was younger because I thought you could not when taking medication, the medication just has to be varified by Hema Quebec.My Mother is good at helping me out with things I need for day to day living, including helping me out with food. It kind of hurts how I was burfen to my folks ever since I got diagnosed with schizophrenia. They have always given with their help to assist me one way or another. I just find it lonely spending most of the time by myself, I wish I could expand my social status like having someone to do my music with. With regards to that other person's credit card recipe I found in my apartment through being left behind during an illegal entrace when I was in hospital, I gave a copy to my Social Worker for her to help me find a Lawyer so I can take the person to Court. I also got the paper work off my Social Worker to apply for subsidized housing with the Government, I still got to find a way to get rid of my tools since I don't think I will be going back to work with them, and they take up too much room in my apartment. I have no contacts to sell them, I guess eventually something will come up to get rid of them. I am constantly throughing stuff out trying to down size what I have in my apartment, a lot of stuff I do not need or use any more, I have a lot of old paper work I could get rid of too, but that will take time to sort through. I have a piece of art sketched on a canvas through inspiration from the media personality that got me arrested for harrassment. In a way I do not want to do the art with trowel work and in a way I still want to do it, it is just that I am still confused over the arrest because I felt I was led on a bit and did not hallucinate the radio and TV. I am left with no answers just confused and not knowing what to believe. I guess at times their are no answers and I am left hanging high and dry with not knowing what to believe. If the media personality had not lied about her wedding band in the very beginning during a broadcast, she said it meant nothing when she is married, I would never have contacted her and tried to charm her,hence never been arrested! I always seemed to get done in no matter what I took upon myself.I shed many a tear like a water fall over getting arrested for I always tried to stay on the right side of the law, it is still hard to handle at times.

In Between My Bouts Of Extra Paramidal Side Effects, I Practice Certain Songs On My Guitar While Singing

I did this sketch some time ago at a friend's place and I am using it for this posting. There are four songs that I am really practicing on guitar while singing the lyrics. The four songs are, Redemption Song by Bob Marley, Blowing in the Wind,the theme song from the movie Doctor Zhivago La Chanson de Lara, and Keep the Home Fires Burning for the Troops in Afghanistan. I played a lot of guitar while in hospital recently and it is thanks to the hospital music therapist and the lessons I was given that I have advanced on guitar the way I have. How I fell into singing, well it just came to me while I was learning how to play guitar. I could do with a voice coach and help around my singing but it does make me feel good to sing and play. For the song Keep the Home Fires Burning for the Troops in Afghanistan to come home, I changed the song somewhat to include the female gender as it is a old WWI song according to my deceased Father. I have no one to practice my music with so I just plug away on my own except for when I attend the out patient music group at the hospital. I do try my hand a writing music as well and I bought a capo this time I was in hospital and I play around with that as well sometimes. I really enjoy playing around with my music even if I do not spend time with another musician around my home, just the hour and a half in the hospital music group once per week. I do some finger picking as well on the guitar along with playing around with my mouth recorder in the hospital music group. Inspiration comes to me in various ways and it feels good to produce in music even if it is on my own for its theraputic value. So till next time I write take care all.

Love Being An Artist/Writer, Here Are Two Images, One A Studio Shot In My Apartment. My "Heineken Lilies Of The Valley" And "My Mega Cannon", An On Site Shot. The Cannon Is From WWI Or WWII, And Still In Place To Protect The Harbor Of Montreal! My "Heineken Lilies Of The Valley" Can Be Your "Valley Of Death" Through "My Mega Cannon", As I Protect My City Of Montreal, The Province Of Quebec, Along With My "Home And Native Land", With What? The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword, Or In New Millennium Days, The Key Board Is A Very Powerful Weapon! It Would Not Take Much To Design A Double Barrel Pump Action Howitzer To Place On The Old Gun Mount!

(Stand by while this post is being put together) I dealt with a businessman , his father/Grandfather's business was illegal, but then the business became legal, how does the son that inherited the business deal with a honest and righteous life like he promised himself and his children!!! We are both sick of it as I was last told!!! Try reading the "Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravist", by Mortical Richerlar. (A Montreal story, could be spelling mistakes in these last words, I am looking for correct spelling.) I know I have done a lot of American bashing, I will make it up to them one day, like my cousin from New Zealand said, rightious and honourable Americans do back me. Why was my Google money stolen and why were people promised to be me? It is even on the radio today Aug 31st! I think it is about time to bury the hatchet and give me my Google money. I have some very special memories camping as a child in the Aderondaik Mountains in New York State, like when a total stranger gave me an American dollar coin, and said, "You remind me of my son, he is over in Vietnam fighting right now". (I stand corrected, I was told it was a 50 cent piece) Now my spell check does not work, I never could spell very good, but I can do a lot of others things to very high standards. It would also be really nice to go back to Rollands Pond or Buck Pond to do some camping in New York State, and then go looking for that old total wonder of the World to me. There was a giant boulder in the woods that got split in two, by a young maple or poplar tree that grew up through the center of the boulder, and actually split it in two with the power of Mother Nature and a young growing tree. As a teenager that could manouver over any thing in the woods, I would have had a hard time climbing up on the giant boulder it was so big, but a young sapling could split it in two growing up through the center of the boulder. More and more people are getting a total kick out of my story, like I was more or less told today, we all knew but you. As the British band, The Beetles sang, "With a little help from my friend....", and I have a whole army of them that I did not know about. Yes my memory gets stimulated and I figure more and more out what has transpired around me and why. In my previous posts, I have mentioned about a number of women that I left love poetry with, indicating for them to be there for me later in life. As I have learned, they have always been there for me in a multitude of ways without me knowing it. Now here is some Scottish Soldiering history from World War I, the male Scottish Soldiers in their kilts were known as "The Ladies From Hell", they were capable of conquering the enemy at all due cost, hence they obtained their nick name! In memory of my Scottish heritage and Soldiering, I am dubbing my team of Ladies that fought so hard for me, "My Ladies From Hell", because of the hell they go through for justice around my story and life! "My, My My", as the Scottish phrase goes, I sketched a corn cob pipe out in "My Native Land", to honour the hell my Native Canadian Indian Pocahontas is/went and going through just to be at my side once again!!! Till later....Now PM Harper is messing around with the wrong people & their money, I just found out it was his brother that tried to rape my Pocahontas when I was in the Canadian Coast Guard College. According to what I was told, it was a long trial, the idiot Harper family had more money at the time, so a young Native Indian woman did in a Harper asshole fighting off a rape, how sweet revenge can be with an Internet presence. How is my Katie a cannibal PM Harper, when a woman bites and scratches fighting off a rape, then comes out of it still a virgin, who is fooling who, I am taking you down Harper, mega time!!!!!!! Then Harper makes his own laws to do me in as Prime Minister!!!!!!! It is called political interference and corruption, with a demented mobster cult family, just watch what becomes of this my fellow Canadians!!!!!!!!!!! I have this theme song of mine, "I ain't nothing but a Hound Dog, sniffing out bull shit for the RCMP"...it is a bit of a spoof song of mine, based on what was originally done by Elvis Presley Funny thing once again, I wrote a score sheet for a theme song for World peace, the first line goes," We the allied forces of Mothearth", with the appropiate musical notes. My score sheet has been tampered with, I have access to a photocopy of my original, plus the song the way I wrote it with assistance from my music lessons, has been copyrighted through Ottawa, Canada, Music Archeives. Too bad idiots messed with the copy in my music book, it is going to be fingerprinted as well. More proof of illegal enterance into my apartment and industrial sabotage, which is going to cost you 25 years in a Federal prison, that is what you usually get for industrial sabotage!!!!! Too fucken bad!!!!! The word Mothearth, comes from a Russian Pagan deity for the Planet, I used that word for certain reasons, like I have Pagan roots from Scotland, pre-Christian period, from whence my blood line came!!!!!! Where do people think "Stonehenge" came from, brilliant celestial minds, associated to Druids/Pagan ancestry!!!!

It Has Been over a Month Since I Wrote, A Lot Has Transpired With The Start Of School Again

Well here I am finally getting to write my blog again since the start of September, it has been a long haul. The run around to my Court case became a real f'nnn joke! My Lawyer must of thought I was a real nut case or something, it took me a while to figure it out with some of my close media friends. They influenced me not to plead guilty, one special person in the media once said that I would figure it out, yea and I did, the night before appearing in Court to cop a plead with my Lawyer at my side. After the evening media comments about me and Court I phoned my Lawyer at midnight complaining of the lack of a media Lawyer, he was not too impressed again. Not being able to sleep I had my thinking cap on during the night. Then I remembered seeing a piece of paper when my Lawyer was flipping through the file, it had scribbles on it that was not of professional standards of the Courts, and was not sent by me to the person that has me in Court, for it was among items that that I actually did send the media personality. Still figuring about things I remembered that the media personality once said on air she want to meet the really Doctor Goober Mickeal, the conclusion was who is sending this smut mail or something to someone in the media signing my name. My Lawyer got his early morning wake up call from me, and I told him, "You must take me for a really nut case, I remember seeing a paper in the file that I did not send, let me see the evidence, and I will tell you what I sent and which is not mine from finger prints and hand writing analysis. My Lawyer said, "OK, we got to trial" As it turns out in Court the following morning, there are all these people being prosecuted for impersonating me somehow, thanks to their finger prints, talk about 3 and 4 making a lucky 7. I am due back in Court on April Fools day 2009, who is fooling who!!! All this came to pass at the end of September while in University and the hospital programs, while not knowing what to write until I passed through Court. School work and planning , socializing with another Artist to do an art show has kept me busy, and here I am finally getting time to write about it all. (Taking a small break, will finish posting tomorrow) Here I am finally getting back to finishing my post on Sunday! I ended up taking a theology class at Concordia University. It is proving to be very interesting, I am learning how to think a bit more like a Theologian compared to thinking like an Engineering Technician, and it is challenging! The image in this posting is a photo of my text and notes etc, the course has given me a lot to think about how God has interacted with us humans over history serving his purpose and instrumenting his Law over the people. I always found my special way to pray, and always felt God worked in my life in mysterious ways, he has carried me through a lot during my years in the mental health system, and he has found a special place in my heart. Studying theology has enriched me personally in the past, as it is doing in the present this semester in University. I am still producing different pieces of art in the art group at the hospital, thanks to the inspiration of our Adult Educator, she always has a new project to stimulate our creativity, it is fantastic! The music group is really good too, we have a good group like usual and I even got to play my guitar competently with other musicians for the first time. I am most often playing my guitar by myself, but found it really inspirational playing along side other musicians. So like usual, I keep plugging away in the arts and University, trying to get out of the poverty that the mental health system stricken me with.

A Lot Of People Seem To Want To Write About Schizophrenia & Shamanism, To Bad They Can Not Communicate With Such a Person First

So I spent my Saturday night going through search engines on various subjects relating to schizophrenia, more people have something to say about the subject of schizophrenia & shamanism than I care to shake a Shaman's stick at!!! It seems like this is becoming a hot topic to write about, no Psychiatrist even provoked this subject when dealing with me, now we have all sorts of writers trying to be an authority on schizophrenia, why do they not leave it alone for the "persons with schizophrenia" to come out of the closet slowly but surely on this subject. Get strapped to a bed and pumped full of anti-psychotic drugs for having schizophrenic/shaman type experiences, then try and enlighten people on the subject, as I do! Like a Psychiatrist said to me in the parking lot of the Montreal General Hospital, "there are many ways to approach schizophrenia", plenty of people make money off schizophrenia, where as the person living with the condition usually lives in poverty. All that has to change and it will as the general population gets more insight into what gets a person is given the diagnoses' for. I have my own approach to dealing with my diagnoses, that tends to lean towards Shaman ideologies. Some of us that carry the schizophrenia diagnoses, hate the "hallucinations" that we live with, while others feel comfortable living with the subject matter of the "apparitions/hallucinations, as in my case. When I was a younger man, the a/h did lead me into a semi psychotic state of mind as I practiced a form of Shamanism in a belief system, to develop a rapore with the subject matter. If I was to converse with another person on how I felt about my a/h and what them meant to me, most people would find me eccentric as I find fellow persons with schizophrenia eccentric, when they are describing their relationship with our manifestations. Somewhere in all the vastness of the human mind, one can find a comfortable place of thought, to live a wholesome life with the diagnoses for the "hallucination". Yes in the privacy of closed quarters, I play around with my Shaman antics on a semi regular bases. The religious calling is in me, thus I do practice a form of Christianity revolving within a belief system that was built around concepts surrounding my apparitions/hallucinations. They gave me insight into the power of believing in something greater than myself, I owe a lot of this insight I have today, to my educational environment I was exposed to while growing with my diagnoses as a man. I could not except my sightings as mere "hallucinations", there had to be something more to it that no one had figured out yet, time its self gave me answers as I fought against over sedation for my eccentric approach to dealing with my life. If one considers the genetic approach to schizophrenia, do we have the genetic make up that tends to make more Shaman like, visionaries in a sort. Sure you can find all sorts of information on madness and genius, no one really treats the person with schizophrenia in this fashion. It was never mentioned to my parents that perhaps your son is some sort of engineering genius that has to be nurtured and harvested properly to make him a place in society that would pay his bills. When I first returned to Montreal with the diagnoses and got hospitalized here, I was pumped full of anti-psychotic medication with little or no talk therapy, while my parents were told I would amount to nothing but a disfunctional person with schizophrenia. At least in today's world of Psychiatry, there is more of a positive out look for the future of a person with schizophrenia in the long run. Drug therapy is only a small part of of a treatment plan, the individual with the schizophrenia diagnoses must continue his educational foundations no matter how hard it may be. As one develops an insight into different dogmas, in the various Doctrines in the educational field, he/she will be capable of conveying their own dogma surrounding the apparitions/hallucinations that they experience in a cohearent manner. When I spoke of the sightings of the visual nature that I witnessed, I was driven into being a cast away in the society that called me part of it. No one wanted to converse theoretically about the possibilities of the meaning to my a/h. Through this isolation and being somewhat of a social out cast, I continued my education in my field of expertise and expanded my horizons in other fields of study that seemed relevant to me gaining some understanding of my a/h. I could be having one of my a/h while talking to a person and they would never know, I kept this insanity to my self and maintained my own journal on the subject. I discovered that there does seem to be a pattern in dealing with the a/h that I had. It was like a Godly sightings of the unknown, that was there to fashion my mind to an openness to the unknown. The strong sense of engineering logic in me, kept me on a even keel, when I was drawn to the more eccentric side of my thinking process, over the nature of the visual images I could see that others could not. At times my Shaman antics of ritual, due to believing, got me in trouble with the people close to me, I never found a problem with these people and their organized religious antics over their own God. Due to having the schizophrenia diagnoses, people were always trying to pick holes in my character. Last time I was in hospital for extra pyramidal side effects, I even had a fellow patient arguing with me, that I was not even a person with schizophrenia because I was too high functioning. Doctors and Medical Staff that over saw my condition, have even tried to change my diagnoses' as I improved my life style with work and education. Try arguing with a Psychiatrist that you are a person with schizophrenia and not bipolar for a convent diagnostic treatment. The Medical Staff that were always pumping me full of anti-psychotic medication, did want to change my diagnoses when I started to make something of my life while on medication. Psychiatry is not one of the more exact sciences in Medicine, a lot of an individuals success has to do with the relationship he/she learns to have with the subject matter of the a/h. OK, so I see things that other people do not, like an ancient Shaman, I am involved in the arts like an ancient Shaman's role in his/her society, so I naturally feel like a bit of a Shaman in a modern society. The power of knowing things that I have not studied, came to me easily. An example of this is when I started doing an art design around what I call my seven colours of creation that I witness in the form of a/h. I took a circle of certain geometrical dimensions and broke it down into seven equal sections through geometry, adding my colours in sequence as they had meaning to me. Here I am years later in my art group at the Montreal General Hospital's Out Patient Clinic, and starting to study Mandala design as an Artist. Well, Lordy Lordy, I was doing this on my own with my colours of creation that I witness, as a way of having a focusing tool for them. Another example of doing something correct, with really knowing nothing on the subject, is when I put a cord progression together on my guitar on my own. The Student Music Therapist at the time, explained the music theorey to me, for what I had created. I had put together six cords, starting with C and played the sequence in what is known as the "Circle of the Fifth", I felt like a musical genius for a moment! For every little eccentric quirk the person with schizophrenia comes up with, it is not totally original, no doubt the concept can be found somewhere in practice in humanity or in our histroy, it just how well we stay sane pursuing the subject and developing our genius.

Finding My Way With My Life Again While Pursuing My Art & Music For Its Therapeutic Value

It has been a couple of week now since I have made a post, my life is slowing returning to a productive routine like prior to my hospitalzation and struggles with extra pyramidal side effects. Finding myself with being in a reflective mood, regarding all that has transpired the last eight years during a relationship with my ex-common law, I chose to pursue my artistic endeavors for future plans. Hoping may be something will come out of it. As a person carrying the diagnoses of schizophrenia, I always tried to hold down a job putting my tools of the trade to work with competence. I had a good job when I met the last woman (Ex) that I fell in love with, everything seemed to go wrong after the industrial explosion at that place of employment. It was a mind blowing experience all the way!!! Just before the explosion at the factory, I was picking up some tools or something in the machine shop and stopped to chat with one of the machinists at work on a surface grinder. We chatted for a bit, then I said, "Well I better get a move on and get some work done before the Boss comes around". So I headed out off the machine shop, through the door into the factory, with a right turn to go through another part of the factory, I walked a small way and took a loading dock door to go outside heading to the place where I was working in the North section of the plant past the office. I was not long outside when there was a large bang with an explosion, smoke started coming out from everywhere, with being one of the factory's electromechanics, I started to return into the factory to investigate as production workers started steaming out coughing and gasping for air. I forget how things got organized, the machine shop wall and door I had just walked through earlier had crumbled with the blast of the explosion, we were finding each other and getting flash lights and fire extinguishers to go look for others closer to the blast. I was soon part of a small team fighting the fires and looking for injured men in the rubble. The plant Engineer and Owner were in close proximity of the blast and were carried outside injured. The electromechanics teamed together to control the fires and shut off the electricity. Soon everyone was accounted for and we pulled out of the smokey haze that made the air thick. The Firemen had arrived by the time we came out, they were preparing to enter and wanted one of us to lead them into the burning factory. No one wanted to go back in, so dumb old me volunteered to take them in to the part of the factory which was a blaze. They had their Scott Air Packs for breathing, while I only had my personal rubber faced dust mask which was not designed for toxic gases of an industrial fire. After a briefing and the firemen knew that we were going to be approaching a fire around a glue tank that could explode if over heated by the surrounding fire, we waited for the command to enter the building. So when all were ready and we were told to go, I lead the team of firemen into the smoke hazed factory to the section burning still. As we walked through the dark by flashlight, the glow of the fire ahead was upon us. The Firemen asked me to try and open the emergency exit that was close the the fire at the back of the building. I headed over to the exit crawling over rubble and taking a two step to give the buckled door the best of soccer kicks I could ever give on the opening bar. The door popped open right away, more Firemen were out side setting up equipment, I returned to the team I escorted in and I was told to go back out front and leave them to handle the rest. After sitting out front for a bit, I was crammed into an ambulance with several others to be treated in hospital for smoke inhalation. I was soon released after I started coming and going from my room to have a cigarette. In time I was called back to work to start the clean up and repairs, then my right leg started to get sore. As each progressed I started to limp more and more with my sore leg. After work one night, I went to the Clinic to see a Doctor. An X-ray was taken and a hair line fracture was found in my old healed break of my tibia and fibia in my right leg. The Doctor asked me if I had kicked anything or something, well I responded with my role in the explosion and kicking open the emergency exit. She said "That will do it". So I had to stay off my leg for a while and walk with a cain until the fracture healed. I could not get workers compensation because the dead line for claiming injuries from the explosion had past, along with me never telling the Boss I had a bit of a bump leg when he hired me. Do you tell the boss everything medical when he hires you? In Quebec, Canada you have a responsibility to tell your employer medical conditions for hazards on the job. I found out the hard way and ended up out of work with no money or anything. As the leg healed, I got another job offer for more money which I ended up accepting only to get screwed by my new Boss for knowing my engineering and making some other Supervisor look bad. Like a co-worker said to me when I was leaving, this company uses people, I feel for you, you know your job. I never really was able to land a decent job after that while always arguing with my girlfriend at the time, because of electrical problems in her home and the electrical fire I stopped in her bathroom in the fall after I was in the explosion the spring of the same year. When ever we argued over weather or not I new what I was talking about in building practice, someone always called 911. So I stood up for the Canadian National Building Code and my life went progressively down hill with 911 being called on me. At least now the Doctors I work with, respect my capabilities and expertise in engineering technology. I am more prone to doing my art and playing guitar as a form of therapy for my developed anger from being strapped to beds and sedated after trying to arue my engineering point with my girlfriend. The "Schizo" was never to believed or something. Other people always new best and it destroyed the relationship and part of my life. Ok, I got my disability pension out of it and I got more involved with developing my artistic talent. While the Art Group that I am part of is off for the summer, one group member and myself get together in a local park with my guitar and our sketch pads. We take turns playing guitar while the other sketches a scene of the park. I contacted the Music Therapist at the Hospital to get involve in the Music Therapy program, so I could get some more guitar lessons out of it. My guitar playing has come a long way since I got two semesters of lessons under my belt from student Music Therapists at the Hospital in the past. My art has also come a long way as well, since I started taking it more seriously. I am no longer scared of pushing a pencil and wasting paper or a canvas. When I see what I want to produce in my mind's eye, I just produce it or copy an image from somewhere. With being part of an Art Show with Birks House Artists at the Musee du Beaux-Art de Montreal, I feel more like an Artist somehow. The opening of the show was the fist time I displayed art outside of the Out Patient Clinic and smoozed with a glass of wine in my hand. I really enjoyed that sense of accomplishment, I put quite a fair bit of work into that particular Art Show and the Museum Animator seemed to be able to open my eyes more to the world of art. My art and guitar buddy in the park is starting to plan with me to do an Art show at a location that I have in mind through a contact of mine. It would be nice to put something together with the visual arts and having my guitar interlude along side. I always was a creative dreamer, it is just at this point of my life that I am starting to dream about doing things with the creative arts. I have no children, my only expense is me and ambulance bills that built up along with one unfortunate credit card from financial hard times. As I am turning 46, perhaps it is late in life to go diving into being an Artist. But what odds for now, if it proves therapeutic. I play a couple of old WWII songs on the guitar, that carry me onward through my memories of the battles and struggles of my past eight years, to find a new found happiness in the future.