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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My Window Of Psychiatry Has Dark Blury Leaves In It As My New Psychiatrist Is a Complete Asshole That Says I Hallucinate TV And That There Is Nothing Wrong With Me And I Should Get A Job While Threatening To Put Me Back In Hospital

When ever I sent the Media personality that got me arrested an email or art and music she put in plugs for me which everyone wants to say I hallucinated. On Court papers she said she just ignored my fan mail and I am being done in for it. So now I am contempt of Court because I never got my injection yesterday so the Doctor is going to send the Police after me to have me put away again.Of course everyone will back their beloved media personality and I will get done in as is what is happening now.I am used to be put away from standing up for the National Building Code against gyprock over plaster installations.I suppose I am hallucinating the three sister Chefs that are on Canada AM just now.I did ask the media personality to be my art manager to help me over come slander and find away out of poverty by Canadian standards. I left messages at the hospital and they have not called me back yet, guess they are too busy getting a Court Order to have me put away in a psychiatric ward! I once emailed a DJ on the radion station I listen to, and wrote, if I hallucibate the TV do I hallucinate you to, we are yet to talk about like she refered.......Great life trying to figure out if you hallucinate radio and TV when that is all you more or less have, it is rather discomforting. Ones mind plays tricks on them in the due process and one is left with a billion questions and nobody there to answer them.It is now Oct 2nd and I was at the emergency department at the hospital yesterday for severe extra paranormal side effects that I am suffering from from the Court ordered injections I recieve, right now I could be going through withdrawl from the injection according to the Doctor I saw in emergency, I have lost weight because the muscle contractions affect my stomach and mouth and I find it hard to eat, in actual fact it is hard to do anything. I have to lie down and close my eyes to make the contractions stop so I get nothing done. This whole affair is so stupid and should never have happen. All I wanted was to succeed at being an artist with some media attention around my work, I never sent any thing demeaning or perverted, my luck peole would impersonate me and sent crap to her under my name. Come to think of it, when my lawyer was flipping through the file I saw something I did not send, and the file was rather thick for what I actually did send. I did phone and left messages twice looking for answers when my Psychiatry said I was hallucinating the plugs for me for when I sent samples of my work, I was rather stressed out with what my Psychiatrist did to me accusing me of hallucinating everything. In my case the stigma of pyschiatry is two fold!! I have no place to turn but my blog and these circumstances have seemed to make the radio but my Psychiatrist will say that I am hallucinating that too. I was not even given a warning not to communicate with her before being arrested. All I want is for the muscle contractions to stop and work out to get my weight back.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Fall Colours Are Starting On The Maple Trees As Canadians Work Their Way Through September And As I Handle The Extra Paramidal Side Effects
As it turns out the Court Ordered injections of anti psychoticmedication really hamper me with the EPSE and my new attending Psychiatrist is trying to rectify the problem with adjusting the dosage and the time span between injections. Right now I get the injection every three weeks and the Doctor reduced the dosage by one third, but I still have bad bouts of the EPSE for two weeks but seem to be OK during the third week where I can function without the EPSE. This is when I get things done around the apartment. It seems like when I have the EPSE if I lie down and close my eyes it stops the EPSE and I just lie in my bed listening to the radio. As fall is coming upon us this week and being the third week after my last injection I have picked up the guitar and have been practicing again. I have not really done any art but I am ancious to paint a canvas again but it is like my big statement, where do I put it or what do I do with it. I have missed painting on canvas the last while and I have several art designs on my mind to do. I got out last Friday with my camera and finished off my roll of black and white film while walking along the canal on the bike path with an old friend who always stood me and encouraged my artistic talent. The only real problem with me doing black and white photography is the cost of the development, around $30 Canadian to develope a roll of 24 images. This is a chunk of money out of my budget but thanks to my Mum giving me left overs from her kitchen along with visiting Mum for meals I do not bad. It will soon be DEcember before I know it and that would make a year since Dad pasted away from lung cancer at 85 years old. I started this post before the evening News with the image and the caption in bold lettering and thought that I would write in the morning, but I could not sleep so I got up and starting writing my post. Having missed the last two sessions of music therapy at the hospital due to the EPSE being so bad I am looking forward to this group session on this coming Wednesday. I am really fed up with the EPSE cramping my style and activities, I am due for another injection on the 27 of this month and want to go on the pills instead of the injections, that will be a hell raiser to work out with the hospital staff and the Courts, then before I know it, December will be on us and back to another Tribunal hearing for following up after getting arested for trying to charm a woman and getting nailed for harassment charges. I still spend most of my time by myself except when I get together with my Mother. I do not attend the art group at the hospital this semester, mainly due to trying to sort through the EPSE and being able to function without the involuntary muscle contrations that make the EPSE, it is hard enough trying to be a regular at the music group. Here it is coming up four o'clock in the morning so I am going to try and get some sleep.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

We Picked A Face From A Selection, And Played The Mood Of The Face, I Worked With Someone Putting It Together, A Blues Number Off The D Chord On The Guitar

I am going to draw a charcoal face of my own, symbolic of the one in group for use. The person I teamed up with, put some words together with me, I chose the blues to do and this is what we wrote: (I changed the name we used to my pen name Goober)

The life of Goober is in the blues

His expressions & emotions

Through a tear & his frowning blues

The life of Goober is in the blues

Through a tear & his fowning blues

He sits alone in misery

And stares at the shadow of his emotions

Confused and fustrated shedding tears

One at a time, slowly running down his face

Drawing out the next tear

The frown of emotional misery

Guides the tears down his face

As he really feels the blues

The life of Goober is in the blues

His expressions & emotions

Through a tear and frowning blues

The life of Goober is in the blues

His expressions & emotions

Through a tear of frowning blues

We each read a section while we played instruments, I was playing around a D cord on the neck picking strings or strumming cords. I still got to get around to draw the face. So I drew a face, the first art I have done since I got out of hospital after the Tribunal hearing, no way does the face look like me!
I have not had the Extra Paramidal Side Effects since Tuesday past, the thrird week in the injections, I go back on the seventh of September for my injection and EPSE. Here it is Sunday evening and I picked up a guitar lesson off the Internet playing a 4 note blues which I am working on with my guitar while I have no EPSE, it is also the first I really picked up my guitar in a long time due to the EPSE.