Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XXI Edition XI

Doc GM

            Another month has rolled around once again, hence the start of another edition of the Political Messenger. I have been so busy doing practical engineering with several projects, multitasking with my tools, tha is why I have had no time to write. Stimulating the local economiy around the area of my trusted industrial hardware store, that has known me making purchases for tools and material for earning a living self employeed or on a companiy's pay role. After shopping for material for the job at hand in the engineering profession, to do my instillation and working office paper work for my company, promoting my sound business pr with a keen business sense from the experience gained over the years in engineering with qualitive workmanship  for salesmanship through conversations,  as I did for for various companies working for different other enterprises, other than my own work operations, for claiming all self employment on taxes, building my provincial Government's pension, ever since I came back to Montreal from the east coast. Chirstmas 1984, delusional and needing an cost effective mental health treatment plan. How I am first to write, for going on 40 years to get my craft in engineering steam rolling forward, through my established practical engineering application as an Engineering Technician  with an assortment of investment in myself for my skill level as a "Schizo" in engineering.   

            Starting Friday morning, I worked 32 hours straight work, accomplishing a lot of work in my office and my tool shop in the apartment where I share with two others. When self employed with one's developed engineering field, it is expensive for today's tools and engineering supplies in the present world economy with two war fronts needing production of military hardware, for the coming to an end of the planet soon, as it stands now. November and the unsueing continuation of two war fronts between political view points of  rival military countries, with Generals leading armies to  the death of soldiers and civilians, when there is a beutiful planet to save, instead of killing each other, off with all the human resourses we now have. Surely we can muster up a team of Worldly Leaders, for a universal team lead by United Nations as a source of planet security for the benefit of tomorrow's children. 

            Trying to broker peace between endless ineffectice talks of leaders in economic power struggles with 2023 approaching the Christmas Festive Season, which I know some Canadian Islamic Folk have adopted into thier culture for their children, hence more part of the Canadian tradition with schoolastic classmates. As a devoted Christian I strongly believe in my Bible's Old Testiment, as to my own personal Exodus from over coming the stygma of mental health and schizophtenia which knows no borders, it is a human issue for all political and religious strips world wide to acknowledge the wrongs in psychiatric basket case treatment plans. What I went through in mental heath, I do not want any other person with the schizophrenia diagnosis to experience the life hardship from darn mental health biggotry at all levels of society. We all know, and can not denied Hitler and his Doctor Dearh"doing in my fellow "Schizos" during WWII, like faithful Jewish Folk getting done in. We are all in the same life boat together and I am trying to maintain the melodic hum of musing like the lister diesel engine withs sterring toward "Peace On Earth" like a deutz de-supercharger attached to it,  for cooling down the tide of global warming, thus trying to drive us to safty with more ethical political manuvers for believing in a  "Christ like a Musouff", while there is so much dumb political rhectoric world wide, causing too many unnessary military up risings. 

Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XXI Edition IX

 Doc GM

            Here I sit in heavy memory lane, for here in Canada it is "Truth and Reconciliation Day", for our Indiginous community across the country. Just what to write, about my youth in high school as a W.A.S.P. (white,anglo saxon,protestant) where there was a 5000 student body in a regional insitution for education, where I attended as a junior and went on to graduate. The sudent body consisted of Indiginous, Caucasian Protestant and Catholic students from such families of birth, along with other Christian denominations. How do I go about writing the memory lane, of the first romance in my head over an Indiginous gal in french class from grade seven, I remember the ways I tried to charm her, then the ridicule that followed by classmates. I do not want to write about it without a lot of thought going into it. I did tell the men at the domino table out back the story. At least it is in oral tradition for now, as one of their "Slim Shady of Walkley" past expoites, amoung the men I associate with for leisure/business time.

            Above is a piece of art I produced through Indiginous TV and getting art lessons from a educational show. As I learned of their Indiginous drawing lines, I put together this image in oil pastel. The original was lost to a Bailiff's container, before I became homeless in the streets of Montreal, thankfully recovered in the digital era. 

            For explaining grade seven french class, I though about it and came up with a bit of a melodic talking rap, with a beat being kept with a Indiginous instrument. It seemed like a simiple way of telling the story without necessarily causing hurt, by revealing the story the wrong way. I wrote the words and in due course of working the instrument while reciting the rapping words in practice. Then when I think of it, one story leads to another, the Indiginous lassie that came to me in grade 9. I wrote her somethinmg as I remember and gave her an old key, of a barrel and flang design, while giving it I stated that it was the key to the bottomless pit. Later in life I caught her on TV, stating that indeed it was the key to the bottomless pit of stupidity. Yea, I was institutionalized at the time, and deemed one that hallucinated radio and TV, while having delusions of media association. So I had no one to talk to about it, while having to keep my mouth shut about what I heard, for fear of having to take more antipsychotics, which would have been perscribed if I had yapped about the preceived broadcast. Being angry and bitter over the mental health treatment plan I had to deal with over my life, it lead to two unforseen arrests, mouthing off the wrong way a few years back, before that trying to charm the wrong woman. So I do have something to rap about in my own way, over my sour puss romantic life that never really happened, except for in my head. 

            Then to think I am a Scot by heritage, kind of writing another type of "Amazing Grace", to think being born here and our first Prime Minister being a Scot and responsible for a lot of atrocities, sometimes our past heritage is not so pleasent. ....little pause, I must go pop pills for the Courts at the Pharmacy....

            

War Has Broken Out In Gaza With Israel, Forces Mobilizing, Thus There Will Be Hungrey Refugees That Need Fed On Both Sides

            I did the above sketch going through my own moments of Holy War in my head due to my training in uniform, somehow prepared for war through my Fathers teachings and that of my Federal Government of Canada through training in engineering practice and now having schizophrenia as a handicap, which did show a bit in my training years. Hence I got through my education in Government training and during my rehab years financially at trade school, CEGEP and University level with help from Mum and Dad. With having no children of my own to support as a small business person. For this reason, it is my will to be there for the war children on both sides of this nasty disruption in the middle east, while striving for world peace with a march into the future aiming towards the need for reconition and planning towards environmental concerns for the world, having ones own heart towting the line of hope for our populess at war, and not more bloody butchering of fellow human for an answer towards peace, tolerance for others, no matter what creed or complexion with the various genetic make up of a civilization gone wrong that consists of seven basic beliefs in faith that have settled peacefully in our hearts with our Indiginous folk, can we at least humanize for a while and bring some young minds togther to demand a better future for the younger children through UN inititives, fighting for food water and medicine with schooling, so war orphans can be provided for, no matter where they are on this planet. With honesty in our heart, faith in our religious leaders, while giving to charity with a labour of love for our fellow citizens of planet Earth.

            My city of Montreal really pulled through for me, with assisting in preparing for extermination by a profeesional exterminating team dealing with this building, they really know what they are doing as city employees with such kind and curtious service, giving us a helping hand in here. Where my roommates and I have no immediate family, we got assistance from the city to do a proper cleaning before estermination. We were not alone in my community with help from street family and the city.to take on such a task alone as senoirs.They started washing everything down in the kitchen along with all the walls and all, then slowly worked their way to the front of the building where my chambers are located. Now ever building my company in some sort of peaceful Canadian environment, while world conflict is a foot once more, with the brewing of heavy war unless initiatives come forth soon, from United Nations Security Council.

Ink Brush Art Depicting The history Of Great Prophets From Our Human History Above

Shadows And Light My Way, Bounceing Off The Quebec Artist Jean Pierre Reapelle

            There is a lot to this image, I do not have time to explain it all. Sit back and study what you make of this through analysising my work of art as a whole image, with individual pieces like a chess game of humanity. Also bouncing off, ricko-shading style from an Indeginious Artist's  "The Scar Project", that can be found through Google searches. From older African  surreal Iconic art, to surreal Iconic Indeginious thought, to the dogma of religious thought.  Now approaching the time of Canadians Remembering our lost soldiers as our Canadian time of "Rememberance Day" the 11:00 hour, of the 11th day, during the 11th month emerging, as war brews across the middle East while the Ukraine and Russians battle it out. 

Rememberance Day Is Marching Upon Us As Canadians, With The True North Strong And Free, Since Our Shit Ass History Began Under The Era Of Sir John A  MacDonald And His Legacy As Prime Minister.

It Is Poppy Time Again !!! 

            It was around 2007- 08 when I first posted this piece of poppy art. Long time ago I told a Canadian Operative that I would be thier "Poppy Maker" for the Canadian Government, as they strive for "World Peace", stemming from our "Peace Tower Clock" in Ottawa. Which is running out of time with Global warming. To use the words, "Onward Christian Soldier" to save our Planet from what it has become, as a bit of a lost society. It is becoming more  and more essential that our younger generations of Canadian War Vets get what they need in up to date financing as Canadian Vets unionize in hope, faith, and charity together. Thus promoting as many poppy sales as we can, there for contributing as much as possible to modern War  vet mental health issues, like my own isues from what was cold war operations in the North Atlantic. Due to rising costs for catering as much as possible for Vets to meet the new demands of modern economics, while war is brewing around planet territorial religions intertwining with Governments in dispute. 

My Grandfather's Honour Of Service From WWI, I inherited His Scottish Nose For Trouble, As A Canadian Human "Hound Dog"For Government Needs, Bit Of A Wolvine Nightmare Around That Title. 

Books Of Assorted Faiths, Some How Intertwined With A Poppy, I Know Of One Canadian War Story, How In WWI, An Angel On A Horse Lead Our Troops Into A Battle. The Spirit Of Being In Canadian Soldiering  Is Precious

No Matter Where You Go On This Planet, People Generally Love Their Children, Some Are Brought Up In A Peaceful Environment, While Others Are Caught Up In A Holy War, Which Is Unjust

            

Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol.XXI Edition VIII

 

 

Doc GM

            Here the end of August and rolling into September on Labour Day weekend, still alone too much around my Schizo/Genius type approach to my art and engineering, which has a hard time getting off the ground, to bring monetary rewards in the wallet. As much as I envisioned in art and engineering, I am still determined to succeed late in life, thanks to my survival skills as a mental health consumer with a solid education. With having electromagnetics being part of my education, I envisioned a proto-type from recycled parts. I took it to Politicians for help, having an education as a mental health consumer helped me through, to have the upper edge in life, while surviving in the mental health system. 

            The regional mental health clinic that I deal with, sees me in a bit of a different light, for what I went through standing up for the National Building Code, and becoming an angry man over it.  Now that I have backing, that I know what I am doing with a tool in my hand, and good at helping to solve engineering problems, I command a lot of respect. I figured out how sewer mains in my neighbourhood need tending too, as I was put to work to resolve a flooding issue, by a neighbourhood management of property team. 

            What to write? I have succeeded with my education somewhat, the cheque is to come! An Engineer that I have a lot of respect for, stated to me I am getting paid consulting with him. He is back working full time from part time, through my inspirational emails for endeavors with him like way back. He knows me, long before all my dark years of my mental health problems. Things I wrote on the Internet or felt during the dark years of my mental health treatment, bitter and angry with what my treatment plan did to me. Mental Health Workers were in denial of my media attention, and street gossip around me, told me I was hallucinating when I was not. I am still damaged goods from what the mental health system did to me with their denial of truths and reality.

            I am back painting my canvas for the art show at the Mental Health Clinic that I deal with, the original version was done studying a drawing, when in the Montreal psychiaric prison getting an evaluation for the Courts, when abused by the Canadian system. The Canadian Courts hold the colour of my mind against me through schizophrenia, as pre-judgement with and through our own stereo typical biggotry like any where else in the World. Accountability of what has gone on during my growth over the years must come about, to earn a decent living again without the psychiatric stigma. Canada always had to walk a thorny path as a member of NATO, while being open to our humanitary services to the World, no one country is perfect. It was once stated at United Nations that fellow members all said, yes indeed all Countries have illegal activities, which is becoming more and more obsolete with a Planet in crisis with Gobal warming. Everybody has to do their part to save a fair and just society, which is earned through hard labour of elected officials guiding us, which sometimes lead to war policing each other as countries. Our march with weaponary was always done, through being followers of what ever political regime that tries to work within the UN Security Council, or outside of its mandate. It does not make war right, where do we find a balance to deal with outlandish idealogies from the far right to far left, while serving up our humanitarian efforts for the less privilaged or those in crisis from destruction through war, over bearing politics, or natural destructive forces of the Planet. Due to what ever idealogies individuals are caught up in, who survives with who? We do not paint a pretty picture of ourselves as a society, trying to be a workable civilization in union, to save ourselves from ourselves. 

           I am trying to save myself with the odds of the mental health system against me, now with the evidense of osteoporosis in my hands from long term use of anti-psychotics, I got a phone call back from one of the over worked members of the mental health clinic. Finally!! Attention long over due around the state of my hands with osteoporosis. I knew what my Mother's hands were like with age and diagnosis, but she was a lot older for age with the condition, than I am presently in. I need a special treatment plan so I can continue growing somehow with this new aging process of schizophrenia upon me, to deal with my changing hands of osteoporosis and associated pain. With a visit to my Dentist, I got some teeth repaired during the morning on the last Monday of September, which is today. Still asking myself? How I fit into a bigger picture with this issue at hand, osteoporosis. I promised to just bang back the pills for the Court order, until seen for my hands next week. I admit to the mental health team that I have smoked pot along the way as a Canadian, it often helped with digestion, nerves, pain, and could be part of what ever bad side effects such as in prescribed medications and mixing them. It could have been affecting me in my fingers, while working a tool over the years and smoking and drinking after work, should not be dismissed as a cause. A lot of the time that was all I had, alone with my schizophrenia. I smoked a fair bit of pot in my life time, while popping pills, and taking injections, handicapping me or not. I did apply intelligence for survival over the years with going to school, it is just what comes out now with being later in life, as a person with schizophrenia caught up in the Courts, as a low income tax absorber for money. 

        The system allows me to just survive, with bad habits yes, as to my pot consumption. I quit cigarettes  for the most part, stay off them most of the time, and do not take alcohol any more. With recent need to steady my nerves, I have reached for cigarettes, but hold back from smoking the majority of time. I am fighting the system in the Courts, it does rattle one's cage, makes you nervous to be precise.  Got to head to the Pharmacy now, to take my pills infront of him/her, until later.... home again and feeling lost to the system. Years back I cried out on the Internet over not being able to function and write for extra paramidal side effects, I got through that and back functioning to produce. Now my past activities may be my end all for my joints, cold and damp and they are hurting coming home from the Pharmacy....I will leave it at that for now.

         I asked my Pharmacist for an anti pot smoking aid at one point, like the nicorette cigarette tube to suck on, with a interchangable charge of nicotine, which I used with the patch getting off tobacco. It is like I need a green one for pot to help me out, and save my lungs. It still feels like I still have to beg for help, in a more demanding over worked system in mental health. The over salivitation seems to be getting worse, it has been a sore point with me for a long time. My pillow still  soaks at night dripping on it, they say medication for side effect, but it do not taste too good putting under one's tonque.  Just another thing to deal with, wondering alone, trying to deal with medication levels and side effects for the Courts. 

        Going through the Courts, I onced said to a Judge, you want to pass your water on your bench through my filters. Well I am still caught up in processing my water some for the rust in the old pipes of the building. It could be saving me once again, even although I do not eat the best with my budget to economy. How I must try to process water, lack of financing to do it right, but struggling to do it, while not being able to afford bottled water at the end of the month. I can drink a lot of coffee during the day, just adding to my nervous situation as a coffee consumer, and worried what my life has become sipping coffee. Gossip spreads fast going to the Pharmacy every night, being seen popping the pills, the street gossip and all is getting a bit much. The arguements that I started, for one being told I proved that I am or was fit to breed, before I put forth the osteoporosis state of my hands to the system. I do not know what to make of it, why was I deemed unfit to breed in the first place, due to the schizophrenia issue? Phobias and schizophrenia run side by side, some people with schizophrenia make the news in another way that is not so pleasent. I got caught up in the system the wrong way with the Courts myself, while fighting for justice from my past during mental health years, defending the National Building Code, then with the media commenting on the situation with who I am after the fact, or became after the years.  Some believe in my water paper and engineering for me to succeed, thanks for that in my life, I am not totally alone.

      

            

Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XXI Edition VII

 Doc GM

            Here we go again, another new posting has come upon me. Time has just flown by this summer, as I took the oppitunity to do physical labour again, working my assortment of engineering tools. Like the men around me now say," do not mess with him when he is working a tool, he knows what he is doing with an engineering tool in his hand". Now that I have rebuilt my engineering career once again and well respected with working a tool to create or fix an item within my skilled capacity. I did not know I was slandered royally when standing up for the National Building Code, as an educated Canadian citizen proving that I am fit to work once again with my skills in art and engineering. Below is an art creation, done dreaming of a wife and child to be, as an older man who is well put together and has something to offer a woman in a solid relationship. My people in our neighbourhood are trying to hook me up with a woman, I am working on that my way, so here is my recent piece of art below, from studying a statuette of a similar design.

            As they say, strange thinks happen in time and space, as to how my life is turning out for the benefit of NATO, and NORAD command. My Father was a Canadian Military researcher of a sort, then Father like son, as to Cat Stevens song "Cats In The Cradle". I am getting more into youtube and enjoying their artificial intelligent for leading me in song themes. Music from Government training in the Canadian Coast Guard, even going to the point to try and join the Canadian Military in the Princess Patricia Regiment of Montreal, when they were advertising for recruits during my battles over the Canadian National Building Code. I cut my own deal in life starting at a young age, from being a Cub Scout to Military application of survival tactics in an "Urban Jungle". I am a team player in society, rangling my way through a society that could collapse with too many followers of dumb ways, compared to being a bit of a stratigest trying to save society, taking on the environmental issues of 2023, with a keen eye on a military prospective.

            Another good application of artificial intelligence  (AI), is for my hands with being small boned and having medication inducing osteoporosis from long term use of antipsychotics for my schizophrenia. Picture comparison study and artificially predicting outcome of busted knuckles from osteoporosis over time, predicting out come and preventive treatment plan through actificially comparing worsening pictures, from my first image, to a second or third over time over time. For someone trying to be me in writing technique, and style, through AI, is not for me to deal with but the Courts for copyright protection. I would not like AI taking over my writing capabilities, I would not want AI to do the writing for me, or have another individual thinking they can be me in writing through AI capabilities. 

            

 No life like it so to speak.....

            It  is now coming up the last days of August, and I have not written in a bit. As the wild fires are decending on Canada, and the World with the parched dry forests, I myself am looking into a way out of a difficult situation that my life has become. Going nuts trying to get financed for my labours working with the system and it does not seem to want to pay for my labours. How do I go about writing what I have come across in another engineering faulty workmanship, past enemies come out to haunt my present position a bit. I could write an engineering report for Government with being properly financed, even if it is through past investments I made for myself, coming forth in my wallet for what I am all about with my water processing, and window filter box concept for health, along with other proto-types. 

Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XXI Edition VI

Doc GM

            It has been a while since I made a blog posting. I have been so busy since the TAQ hearing I went through, I will be getting a copy of the TAQ decision in the mail. As it turns out, between caulking the gap between the floor and wall in my rented apartment, along with processing water through my system of filtering water by gravity with funnels, while paper and cotton filters are inserted into them, I am all the more healthier as age comes upon me. From studying a famous Quebec artist named Jean-Pierre Riopelle, I produced this star  burst with chaulk pastel. I am star struck with what my life has become and studying the image below, as to the little star I am becoming as Doc GM, (A.K.A.  "Slim Shady of Walkley"). The star burst was done way back, when I was still part of a mental health art group, while in the homeless missions of Montreal. I am healthier as a result of my efforts to succeed, I have also been working on my art show, that has been arranged through the help of the mental health clinic at the CLSC, that does my mental health follow up for the Courts.

            

            How my own faith in being a believer in a Christian philosophy around old and new scriptures, found in our Bible. I have found some sort of salvation ever since I went into the homeless missions and then long term care 10 years ago in the summer of 2013. With a Lawyer a Social worker I got out of long term care and became "Slim Shady of Walkley", my beloved street family and what my life became when the men took me in over time, and like they can all profess, I know what I am doing with a tool in my hand. May it be for doing art or as a Engineering Technician forging material at my now productive work bench with my tools. I remember way back in here, the doomed home I made for myself since I lost both my parents and contact for any other close family member in Canada. Below is an image I did during some  darker years in mental health. and having some incriminatory incidents as a Greek Tragity, the Officer and Gentilman from the Coast Guard that ending up with a sort of criminal record by Quebec Courts. The Lamb under the protective grip of the Courts and pyschiatry, artistically produced while incarsarated. See image below:

           As I put together the start of this section of the  posting, at this point in time...."taking care of business every day", makes for my theme song as to, the BTO song of my youth in the '70s! Yea, even money issues over my writings, and physical labours, with acknowledgement of my work efforts as a mental health consumer that learned how to write at the University level. The studying cost money and investment.! How can one, through writing be able to somehow support the Writers strike in the States. I support my writings from a well earned pension cheque, it was a forum of writing therapy for getting me working with a gracious Provincial system of work and paying taxes. While still bringing home a cheque to survive on as a Pensioner over 60, with such a cheque developed through paying taxes all my life to the Provincial pension plan in Quebec. Even if it is the Government tax plan from, a income tax paying system, for an individual that works or learning how to work.....to looking for work is work that makes work...it is all work that needs a small "Hero Biskit" for their labour of love, to volunteer within a community or for a race of people, one with human issues different from others, that needs tolerance applied as a science. In my own determination, perhaps soon I will pay my fee for the Canadian Writers Guild...My birthday present for myself in August, at least I want to pay for work done in writng, proving I am fit for some sort of physical labour or for a rewarding pay cheque in the end for my labour of love in physical labour as a Engineering Technician. Writing on various topics as a mental health consumer that always worked around buildings and machinary, developing my skills to obtain a pension plan, in continued growth financially with my community backing me to get civil engineering of a certain standard, in a metropolus that has an ambundance of homeless individuals, that need a place to live and get back working, as we need all the home grown workers we can get for this economy of August 2023.        

Doc GM Political Messenger Vol. XXI Edition V

 

 

Doc GM

Sat Out Side The TAQ Hearing Today, So I Would Not Come Home Angry, I Let My Lawyers Handle It All

            I let my legal Team handle everything this afternoon, I just had to identify myself, then I exited the conferance room, I knew what the Psychiatrist was going to say, it pissed me off geting the document in the mail, I did not need to listen to it being read. It has been a long time since I valued a psychiatric opinion, I went through a lot proving I had more than shit for brains, it got me this far in life! My own little Biblical story of finding salvation, blooming late in life, no matter what I  do I get more backing to carry my own little cross in life. When there was nothing, I still had something through the scriptures to cling on to, that power of prayer will get me through, by meditation and being open to receive insight when it comes, in the various ways that is offered in spiritually believing. 

Believing In Psalm 23 To Carry Me Through Troubled Times

Print From Canadian Bible Society, Design: ABS, 1995

Which Leads To My Piece Of Art Below

The Comfortng Table Of The Lord

            

            The angel and table pencil sketch was done while passing through Court as a victom, in my jail cell there was my Bible I packed when arrested, and a Church booklet in my cell, which I used as inspiration to produce this particular piece of art. I was able to get pencil and paper off the Guards and kept myself busy doing sketches.

             Here it is after near a week since the TAQ hearing, I reflect on an old reoccuring dream I had when young, how I could not load the truck of life. The dreams prepared me in a certain way, for what my life became with mental health poverty, through the schizophrenic issues I carry as a consumer.  I was always a eccentric since young, leading to lonely feeling most of my life, When I was alone too much I could go delusional as an "apartment hermit", having no interaction with others. With the warmer weather I am meeting contacts again to try and get some work, my art is also encouraged. I am proving my point with the water, the ailments I went through not filtering building rusty pipe water. My aches and pains and stiffness came about, so I started on bottled water with the start of the month budget, and feeling better already  with less stiffness waking up.  

             For getting a good work out yesterday, doing physical labour cleaning a contractor's van with him, I did not feel all that bad in my morning movements. My morning coffee is also filtered water through my demise of course, it does make for a better wake up coffee after my vitamins and breakfast. When working yesterday, I put my stethoscope probe to my ShopVac, before and after being cleaned. There are definitely different sound waves between clean and dirty state of the ShopVac. This concept applies to any piece of machinary  that the stethoscope probe is put to. What comes to mind, putting out the wild fires across the Country, for our water bombers to have my stethoscopy probe as a device for a cell phone maintaining a sound history, to monitor the aircraft's engine for optimal operation requirements during the present forest fire season. Then we have to put up my cotton and curtain shear window filters to save us from the dense smoke blanketing the country. To cut home heating air filters  for furnaces, they can be used in alliance with the cotton teary cloth and curtain sheer polyester as a filter in windows for those with weaker lungs.

            That was what I am up to engineering wise, between my stethoscope probe developement plan and trying to be an influence towards recycling and waste management in my community, while I work towards cleaner water through my filtration process by gravity, through tri-layer cotton and polyester filters I had custom made for the purpose. The water filters have been mentioned in Court documents, what I went through and now the whole country needs my window filtration help from our raging forest fires, with the smoke blowing over majar centers of population, interior cleaning from smoke particales landing on furniture will all need to be cleaned. I have learned the hard way how smoke from structure fires just eat at guitar strings, so they pop when tuning. I was in hospital once, when smoke from a down town fire plastered the hospital with dust and ash.

            My spring cleaning has not stopped, I am getting more and more accomplished around my apartment that I share with two other senior adults. After getting a new desk, I  have restructured my  room and I am getting organized with working my tools, have made a work bench with vice for holding parts for forging the material of my choice . Then I have recieved an oppitunity to have an art show, finally walls out side of my own room, to put up my creations in a public place again is tickling my zeal of purpose. This is all thanks to the SIM Team that I work with in mental health, for my schizophrenia issues that come with the mental health turf of complications.  

            I am a good sales man on the phone, the other end does not know my mental health issues, I am taken more seriously in engineering conversation for my pro-types, some multi national companies that one has to deal with, are a hard sell, even when using their product and modifying it for another engineered purpose. 

 

Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol.XXI Edition IV

With April's Warmer Weather, I Have Been Making More Money Again During Spring Clean Up, Which Leads For More Work Down The Line

Working for peanuts but proving I am fit for some type of work, and handy during spring clean up in my community. Working with the Government line of 311 for municipal pick up of trash and recycliables, while trying to synchronise scrap metal collection and collecting hardware off furniture, as a way of collecting poundage for recycling efforts. Gunning for the nickel and dimes it is worth, for budget investment in myself and company.  It is difficult to get proper scrap dealers organized to handle recycling of neighbourhood household electrics and electronics. The price of fuel for a truck to properly handle recycling of certain household items, makes it more and more difficult to accomplish the recycling that needs to be done.

How do I try and put it, my street is not for sale, nor is my community around the street I am part of, foreign Nationals that can not even be part of writing a lease correctly with a Canadian citizen, has become a real hornet's nest of complications unfolding. How can one sign a lease and not understand what is written on it? I was pushed into a lease without it being hammered out right for my needs. It was like just sign the paper, so I wrote and signed, technical he accepted my ammendment.

So I have something to chant about, while learning the microphone with an instrument in my hand.

As a mental health consumer it has always been difficult proving I am fit for work of some sort. My specialty developing around practical engineering application for recycling in my community and sterilizing the dirty garbage bins How to convince people to do it with the right objective in mind, to recycle better and more effectively. Trying to get the political influence to move a mountain of complications around domestic, and industrial waste or recycling, starting at the street level within the community.  The crews that handle the city's waste management and recycling have to be commended for what they put up with, while trying to handle the island's waste and recycling management with the different levels of Government in a semi structured society for proper recycling and waste management. 

I am getting fed up again with what I have to deal with, I am sick and tired of people finding problem with me the mental health consumer! The weaker mind so to speak, that never can do anything right according to those around me in the mental health staff that I deal with.  All some people want to do is argue with me for what?  At 62 years old, it is like I am not wanted in Canadian society, not allowed to earn a decent living and be in decent accomidations through my art and engineering talents. I did not know mental health consumers like myself, are not wanted in Canadian society for the most part, but can be used for free labour sometimes, making present emotions and feelings. I deal with people pushing to argue with me, while others see the light in me, and I have to end the arguing with the wit of my tonque. The visit from the mental health staff member turned sour when the individual incinuated I hallucinate the media still. Why am I in this God awful mess of a situation once again, as an educated mental health consumer that does not feel wanted by society, while part of my story has been in the media for a long time. It is that stumbling block one feels as a complex as a consumer. Someone can prove me wrong when ever they like. I have no life due to the stigma of mental health and what comes with the title, now I am hallucinating the media again before the up coming Tribunal. I am really damaged goods over this issue and trying to find my way through it. 

Sorting out this mess of emotions...editing and sorting thoughts...

Judges, Lawyers, Doctor and Pharmacist with their staff, make all the money in mental health, if I do something to better my life, I get pushed around and done in every time, it has been five years and still waiting for my inheritance from Mum's passing.  This is a sample of how nothing goes right around me, I get a complex like anyone else. There has been unjustified practice of pushing me around and insulting my intelligence. I take out the issue on said people I deal with for the courts, that are suppose to protect me, instead I go narrow minded and blaming the system that is failing around me. I am due at a Tribunal, to be judged again. I can not even be an Engineering Technician, which I went to school for, to earn a living and keeping busy somehow. What I went through, proving I know what I am doing with a tool in my hand in my neighbourhood. With what has gone on in the recent past while I was proving my skills, unleased events that should not have transpired. When part of me dies in a toxic atmosphere. To nail it on the line, lingering gases from black mold do not make for the best of living atmosphere, side effects of medication seem to come out in the cold and damp as it is now, like a gypsum mine of gases. I went through the same type of complications in an older building when I was younger, and going pre-cancer at that time, I am scared of that end result again.

 Even although I am an associate member of Engineers Without Borders, through a Chapter here in Montreal, I still get the extra scrutiny when people know my mental health status. Those that do not know, when they find out about the diagnosis, the problems start. All I can say is I am 62 years old at this beef, and at it since the year 1984, when I started finding my way in mental health as a consumer, while always trying to work, educate myself, and earn income for a pension cheque one day. I am part way there, still alone taking on a system that does not reward boat rockers, because I am an educated "schizo" that has rocked a boat a long time ago, and still paying the price for it. Then I am rocking a boat once again,  fighting for just engineering practice in a multi-unit building that I am stuck in at present. I can wake up smelling the dampness as a thick blanket hovering a bit, until aired out some. Walls and ceilings boxed up too soon after several leaking pipe problems, not dried out right over the years, which I witnessed since I came here in March 2014. Then the caulking between wall and floor to cut back on internal wall gases and dust from seeping into the apartment, needs to be done or get a better place to live by working a tool in this wth ay. Bad health issues seem to come out in such an unworthy practice oorking a tool as to this building I live in, falling short of Canadian common practice by our own skilled labour teachings and professionals at maintaining the older structures. Filtering my water, could have saved me from the building's rusty pipes once again. 

Getting some news after Church, during this long weekend of May,  the war in Ukraine and the G7 summit are highlighted. How to walk the middle of the road in Canadian politics? I know what is in the news, which makes me the nervous character that I am, through being aware of Ottawa's gossip and its security issues. Foreign Nationals and Chinese influence, India pressured for a role they play as an economic powerhouse during these troubling times. Artificial intelligence is in question, and how to use it, it has helped me with my writing skills, I know my prolific sardonic writing is not wanted. What comes out of me with feelings of suppression and using a keyboard should not be. The system is tainted with a rocky road, to hopefully lead to something more positive in life.  Determination, and the scattered thoughts thrown my way as an influence to keep me balanced, coming from my friends that make for family, and associates in my neighbourhood, help me through the the time I am alone with the complications of surviving mental health. 

I Have Always Been Taking Something Home, To Dish Up As A Stubborn Mule, With Method To My Madness In Society

Below, My Little Tune "The Haunted Pipe", That Needs Budget To Get Something Right In A Recording

I forget when I created this piece I call "The Haunted Pipe", it goes back with me a long way, some say it is too haunting for them. It sums up my life, haunting! No likes to hear me learning my recorder. I have some score sheets to practice with, I clued in on how to read notes from elementry school lessons, just need to pay for some coaching, to learn how to play with timimg and all. To rent a practice room at the University, for now I figure I will have to go outdoors somewhere in a park with the nice weather. I do not want to amount to noise pollution in public either, blowing my recorder in practice can be irrating to the ear of others, as my room mate mentioned to me early evening when trying to practice.

Like Work, As One Piece Of Art Leads To Another

"The Bleeding Changing Planet Is Haunting" Below, Medium Is Ink Brush

Here Endeth This Posting, Until My Tribunal Judgement Day At The End Of May, The Court Documents As Public Knowledge, Does Not Portray Me As A Person That I Am In The Least, It Just Pissed Me Off. No One Wants To Deal WithThis Court Crap In Their Face. All At Tax Payer's Expense! The Legal Injustices In Democracy.......

  

Doc GM's Political Messenger Vol. XXl Edition lll

 Doc GM

Here we are mid March, Montreal weather has been mild, so getting out more and seeing others in my neighbourhood, after winter type hibernation inside. I am gtowing spiritual with time as it passes. Observing Lent with my prayers and meditation for inspiring thought and guidance for religious reading material.

What ever guided my house cleaning today, I caught one of the rodents that chewed on my rattle. This is dumb what I have to deal with, I could do better for living accomidations, see below for how mouse trap technology was there for my mouse catching efforts.

St Patrick Day 2023, My Christian Art In Lue Of All Circumstances

The Quebec Government is injecting much needed money into our province's mental health care system, I am already reaping some of the rewards in asking for an occupatial therapy group or something. Many in our urban community, need a protective work shop, a place to go under support for a conciencious environment to produce for a purpose. I recieved a call from the hospital to follow up on the request that I made for such an activity, one has to be observed on medication in the work type environment. Thus the mental health team can deduce capabilities, as observed for succeeding as a mental health consumer, that has to have a bit more of a guiding hand, compaired to other more self sufficent individuals.

Military Art Inspired By Some Old Military Hardware From 1942

Here I Am Posting My 1st Quarter Growth Of 2023

A little joke in relation to economics, my plant is flourishing with it being fed my cleanest possible water that I consume for myself. I share this processed water that I make with my plants, they grow a lot better.  The plant's growth is no longer stunted, it really grew compared to just being fed city water over the past three months. I posted a picture of my plant in the December post on the 31st of last year.  As to myself, and being more of a healthier body mass index as well, since I gained that despartley needed weight after recovering from a bad bout of pneumonia, and near losing my life because of it. I need a Doctor's endorsement of what I have accomplished, consuming the cleanest possible water for the benefit of health.

Doc GM's Poltical Messenger Vol. XXl Edition ll

 Doc GM

Another month has rolled around, keeping busy is aiding me in maintaining a healthy, wealthy and wise life style. I am getting more of my health back processing my water through my tri-layers of filters. At this time it is hard to handle being alone with a lot of mental health issues. then again, I do have a sweet female voice that listens to me, getting through my sort of talk therapy with this wonderful female. There are a lot of good people out there, I have finally found one person that listens to me and I am growing with the experience, through getting good feed back. The feed back I give the Psychiatrist falls on deaf ears, I have more side effects, and asking why all the medication at this point in my life, I have expressed my concerns, and want to be treated on another drug of my choice. 

One of my Nurse's from the CLSC passed by this morning, for a regular home visit as mental health follow up, I demonstrated my water filtering process and showed him the dirty filter wash solution, of vinager and my cleanest water. A lot of of the cotton does decompose and comes out in the filter wash, trapping other particals being washed out of the filter, in the boiling water solution with a measure of vinager. Seeing is believing what is being taken out of the water that I process. One Psychiatrist testified in Court that my filtering process was delusional, which it is not the case, I ended up getting done in to some degree by the Courts, out of the Psychiatrist's testimony against me. Like my Nurse said to me today, it is not in my character to harrass women, no one knows me to do it, the arrests were misjudgement of the law. I should never have ridiculed the Courts as a result of frustration being dragged through them so much. Why can there not be a round table discussion for a treatment plan with my Lawyer being  present if need be, instead of the chemical treatment plan dictatorship by one Psychiatrist of my past, being followed through by a mutual relation to him, as my present Psychiatrist. I still get the same footprints of my last Psyciatrist's dictatorship over my care, with the power of the Courts.

I do not want to live with these medication levels of clozaril in me,  I sit in the morning all rubbery and drools running off my lips. along with tremours. The Psychiatric Team I deal with does not care, they all get a pay cheques no matter what, while they more or less try to bop me off with medication. My present Psychiatrist only cares about my clozaril levels in my blood for her stupid experiment with a chemical treatment plan, with more side effects than I care to deal with, just take more pyschiatric drugs for the side effect solutions. The system is corrupt with the Psychiatrist's dictatorship of medication levels with the power to do as she wishes to me for the Courts, all to save her brother the Psychiatrist that testifid in Court against me. I have no one with the power to stop this demented psychiatric chemical trearment plan that does nothing but gives me side effects. Due to psychiatry saying I hallucinate radio, TV and street gossip around my art and engineering, I am forced to consume excessive medication levels. It is like I am a broken record constantly repeating myself, due to the fustration of a mental health life. There are something like 4500 mental health suicides per year in Canada and 75% are male, when I am totally fed up, I will end as a another psychiatric failure and statistic, committing suicide or pushing for "Medical Assistance In Dying". To be free of psychiatry for once and for all, to be free of their Doctor Death practice on me. Like my educated cousin said, "you can not tell a Psychiatrist any thing, they do not listen", my American Cousin is older and wiser than me and so correct and hits the right point home about Psychiatrists. I am a living example of a bullshit psychiatric chemical treatment plans, that does nothing but piss the patient off. I always worked and paid taxes while taking much less psychiatric medication, now the Psychiatrist increased medication levels to make it harder for me to live and work. If I work then all psychiatric patients are fit for some type of work, instead of "unfit to work", as Psychiatrists always wrote on Government paperwork around me to get my medical benefits. I worked anyway and claimed my work to welfare, my welfare Agent know it too. It is like  my Psychiatrist wants to stop what I have achieved with my work record and quarterly financial claims of my company's income to my welfare Agent, when my life was doing better, my Psychiatrist increased medication thus hampering me with medication levels and side effects. 

Here it is the middle of the afternoon and I am falling asleep, and I got to fight it like when a Psychiatrist burdened me with extra paramidal side effects with his chemical treatment plan. I was alone most of the time with Psychiatrists doing me in with their chemical treatment plan with no prescribed therapy. Instead of them trying to lighten the load of mental health, as a worker in this field of medicine, getting more therapists employed so someone popping their pills have something to do. I achieved all that on my own with my background and the education level I strived for. It would be so nice to speak to a Police Officer again in the back of their cruiser or in an ambulance, to hear the words once more "Iain, what is going on?" Then yap about my Psychiatrist and some street talk about the yahoo Psychiatrists, they deal with junkies too, and I know what talk I am hearing, with the Psychiatrist saying I hallucinate public gossip, radio and TV. Put two and two together how many times to say, something is not right with my drug treatment plan,  I am living pretty good for hallucinating everything. Am I hallucinating the news segment on that stomach and intestinal bug going around, and spreading through hands that are not cleansed enough. I thought the problem was from my medication, now I am trying to get answers from the medical community from what I learned on the News hallucinating it, but I am disposable chop liver to the medical community as  a schizo. The lower cast in society, and not suppose to succeed at anything, while Psychiatrists make sure of it with Court orders at tax payer's expense, with a select few lining their pockets with money at the expense of the schizo.

To make matters worse, clozaril induced adominal and intestinal pain can be common, I found evidance of the fact on the Internet with information out of Austraila. I found a report on the web how this complication can lead to death, and I am sitting here alone trying to get answers. Toatting the load with the monthly Court ordered antipsychotic injection, I pop pills like never before. I was given the chemical solutions the Nurse mixes from the pharmacy, all contained in  a package deal to have a Nurse inject me for my monthly injection, as a compliment to the nightly popping of pills ritual for the Courts at the Pharmacy. I forgot, Psychiatrist say I fake symtoms, as stated in Court by a Psychiatrist. I am fed up with it and banging my head against the psychiatric stereo typical treatment plan.

Working between the Internet and the phone, I got an appointment for my upset stomach and intestinal track, with a Doctor at a local medical clinic tomorrow, how to kick mid week into gear through trying to solve medical issues, around medication and schiziphrenia. I asked my present Psychiatrist for a medication group for this type of situation, never materialized, just suffer alone too much. I really only have one person to converse with, when that comes around, outside of my meetings with fellow Christians.

 The only time my phone rings is when psychiatry, or other medical appointments call.  I got the call to get my antipsychotic injection for the Courts tomorrow, to save time and money I buy a 24 hr buspass, and it so happen that I get my injection and clozaril blood test in the morning, then go see a Doctor about my intestinal and stomach pain. Playing Doctor with the Internet, which they hate, perhaps my pain is induced by clozaril, but I am the idiot schizo with the medical complex of being an undesirable by Doctors, due to psychiatry and how feeling I am brushed off to easily, it is suppose to be a true feeling by a lot of people. I know too much and even testified in Court once for an Engineer and his Business Partner, just let me think of what all could have went on, with my experience in life, retaliation can come in many forms. One of my proto-type inventions using a product of the the two business partners, came out in Court at this time. The Judge protected my prot-type in Court, when it was mentioned. Why did psychiatry try and destroy me just before my 10th time giving blood to Hema Quebec? I have not given blood since before long term care, when I was processing water through my filters in another dwelling where I was residing at that time, psychiatry put an end to it.

Here with a sore stomach and intestinal track, I still have to make my way to the Pharmacy to pop pills, no mercy, just a stupid inhuman dictatorship of consuming chemicals to have a chemical in my blood to stop dophamine in my brain, and so what for the side effects and being unable to cope with the treatment plan, how many schizo's in Canada my age of 62,  in the same bowl of go fish? How many people like me that are deemed one that hallucinates neighbourhood gossip, and under going media association as an hallucination, through feeling my art and engineering is being referred to in the media from some of my expoits in Canadian life.

Here I sit in God awful pain in my stomach and intestinal track, after taking my vitamins with breakfast. I am expected to march in this condition for my injection and blood test for clozaril levels, then go to a Doctor appointment for my gut pains. (My Nutse got the taxi paid both ways for the appointment) It just shows the cold hearted treatment plan of psychiatry, with no consideration for the patient in mental health. It took  negociation to get the taxi, it is like I had to plead for the help. People that know me as a person, know I will not ask for things. Waiting for mental health to call me, like I left the message to the mental health clinic. If I was the Psychiatrist, the mental health team would do anything for me to accommidate whims and all. All I get out of psychiatry is "you are under a Court order". That is all psychiatry cares about, their stupid Court orders. They do not care about the patient, we just become a number and Court Docket or the belittering comment would never have been said to me. Like I do not know it that I am under a Court order. I am not the one in denial. Consuming 200 mg of clozaril every night with other pills induces after drip of urine when one urinates. Do they listen no! I am sick and tired of the after drip induced by psychiatric medication, mental health workers are in denial not me!!!! I solved the after drip problem somewhat, now it is back again with increased medication levels of clozaril.

Do I write the end result of my visit to the Doctor? Or slowly die emotionally at the hands of modern psychiatry 2023, in a grudge match?  Clozaril and kidney problems are more common that one can think appairently! Now I can say I am a dying breed!! Oxford University Press warned me what happens to whistle blowers years ago, so I go down as the psychiatric Martyr in Canadian history that just wanted to work, and a Psychiatrist is putting an end to that!!! The Psychistrist put up my clozaril dosage, when I was doing more work. I do not know how many second generation antipsychotics I have been on, they have the tendancy to induce kidney problems, and  I am feeling the brunt of it with side effects. Just waiting inline for a ultra-sound as an investigative tool for my symtoms of not feeling right with gut problems and not being able to get a good night sleep. The average age for a person with schizophrenia to live to is about 65 years of age, I am a bit scared for my health from this stupid chemical treatment plan, of marching to the pharmacy every night to be the public pill popper. I turn 63 this year and still have the Court order on me for another two years. What? Die marching back and forth from the Pharmacy popping pills every night, slowly doing myself in to statisfy the Courts and a Pyschiatrist.

It is amazing what I wrote under the pain of it all, alone to much like usual with my education and skill level, what could be saving me is filtering my water once again. My perscription for the stomach and intestinal track seems to be working. the constipation issue induced by antipsychotic medication has been present for a bit, it is not fun being alone with medical issues as one ages.  I admit my kidney could be damaged, some of the symtoms are present, how do I escape the odds of long term use of antipsychotics and the Courts ?

On April 4th of next month, I have a Tribunal hearing as I just found out, the on going judicial system around me as a person with schizophrenia, while having my art and engineering to earn a living for making financial gains.When I was innocently arrested over my flirting with someone way back, whom I asked to be my Art Manager, it was the start of the harrassment alligations around me. I even had a art Curator in New York that was interested in my art work. I sent her an ink brush drawing to raise money for the charity of her choice, and pass me a cut of profit.  I heard on TV how an American Senator for New York politics, mentioned money I am owed from that particular business deal over a piece of my art talent. I could be off the Provincial tax dollars of last resort income, if I got the financial rewards I am due from my art and engineering. Why can't I earn a living? Who is trying to stop me? Who is threatening who? I know something is not right!

 

I know a lot of stupidity passes my way, it is like I am good at inheriting other peoples problems, they are left on my door step for me to trip over so to write, and I can be a survivalist but at what costs ? I am gaining weight consuming my processed water and use it for both cooking food and drink with a daily protein shake, it gives me a bit of a work out, moving the 10 lbs bottles of water, while I have been tending to other sorts of writings and visual arts. Rumours float in my neighbourhood and the media feeds it just the same, why is it so hard for me to earn a bill or get female company ? It is out there that a shortage of clean O postive male blood type is creeping up on our blood banks, and I confess that I am clean O Positive blood. It has got too complicated along the way, chasing women from my youth and being denied that right somehow. It is always a conflict of interest or something stupid like that as I got older, it has been 18 years since I touched a woman, as to dating and all. I grew on my own for these past years with my Christian ways, while being the eccentric that I am with my mental health diagnosis.

I have given the mental health system a bashing over the years while on the Internet, like a theif in the scriptures laying a beating on an innocent victom and robbing them of their dignity, as they did to me. When I got over worked for no money on the job like medical staff go through, like any other person, one starts hating certain aspects of their work, as to dealing with me the problem child in mental health. Then things go wrong with a mess of confusion, as in my life, does the Judge that okayed this treatment plan of mine, know I visit the Pharmacey every day to be the public spectacule for the Courts?  The handicap business person that I am, with a Court record that I still have to deal with, serves no justice in myself trying to get a head in life, while I am a political hot potatoe on Provincial meager budget. 

On my alotment of a budget, I lashed out a fare bit at society as well, I learned off psychiatry bashing them for not having the time to listen, due to what went on around my life, it is like I am the last to find out everything. Now information from the past is coming out from Government on me, in the capacity that I served my country. I am a news buff, and know some of the politics of the day, which I do not hallucinate. I have a past that if I told Psychiatrists some things from the cold war, they would not believe me like usual, which I know is the result, so I never yapped about some things from my past, but the Canadian Government now is.

A Mountain Sunset

In my own way I moved a mountain, people are talking with concern about what is going on in Canadian mental health, this was some afternoon creativity with mountainous thoughts coming forth from studying a piece of art. Twelve planted trees symbolic of something I wrote about, "The Twelve Astrological Women"

.

A Red Red Rose

Inspiration for art comes in many forms, I once had a book on how to draw, paint, and sketch roses. It went into a Bailiff's container unjustly, with all the rest of my worldly property of company invoices, tools and all from that time and place.

Above Is A Fellow Artist Under The Name "King Shadrock" With His Message In Visual  & Song Which I Believe In

Below Is My Rattle Video That I Jut Put Together

Human kind has evolved since I entered mental health during 1984, in another Province other than Quebec. I feel the system has changed, for it has a lot to be desired still. The time has come for society to be able to protect themselves from the rare violent mental health consumer or a person with a disturbed mind. The resources have to be put in place such that dangerous predators, do not get their hands on weapons of any kind, people have to be able to prevent violent acts from tail-tell signs a head of time, which would be early warnings signs of a dangerous troubled mind.