It has been a quiet Christmas, mainly by myself, out side of attending Church for the Christmas Sunday service. It has been five years since Mum has passed away this December, I became more of a man being on my own, with no family close by, but taken in somewhat by my street as all sorts became my family in my community. I only have myself for survival tactics, with mental health services here and there along the way. I get my injection tomorrow and regular blood test and weight taken. I have put on a bit of muscle doing the physical labour as part of my routine, it also helps not being so medicated while keeping active. During the month of December with the Quebec Government issue of extra money, I have been buying bottled water and passing it through my filtering process. My filters do eventually clog from passing bottled water through them. I made a smaller siphoning hose in diameter for handling 4 Litre jugs of bottled water.
Had a good chat with my Nursing staff this morning while getting my monthly injection, and what it costs for a medium french vanilla coffee in that neck of the woods around the CLSC, that I attend for mental health. On their digital scales, I gained 1.3 pounds in the last month. I am taking a protein suppliment every morning for 10 o'clock morning break, my egg nog laced with the protein suppliment, has paid off over the past month, as I work at various jobs and art to stay active. I am still on morning vitamin supplements which I take with my breakfast, even popping the supplements, I do it with my cleanest possible water. I pay for print outs and feed hard copies here and there of my water paper called, "Thristing for the Water of Life". A cross between theology and science, backing Moses and the water well concept, as to the properties of the cleanest possible water as a healing tool. I had a hard time getting my plants to grow in my chambers, until I started feeding my plants the cleanest possible water that I consume myself, now my plants are starting to grow more flourishing like, how else do you put it. So here is a picture of my now growing plant as it consumes my processed water like I do. This picture of my plant was taken on December 31 2022.
I myself have been quite the flourishing plant in society, I forgot things about my life, specially where the first time going into mental health, was by having our RCMP put me in a holding cell, when the Pope John Paul ll was coming to St John's Newfoundland, after that day and night I was put into mental health. I now remember more about my training while being influenced with the media stimulating my memory some. What I went through to succeed as a mental health consumer, I now say I am an Engineering Technician first, mental health consumer second. This is a way of combatting the stigma that surrounds mental health. The system has changed for the better, more public awareness of mental health issues, and of course more people are affected by mental health, post initial covid lock down measures. Everyone handles mental health issues differently, the mind is like the last frontier of medicine, for it is not all black and white with gray matter in between. A mental health dianostic term is for the paper work, everyone is a individual and there is individual insight to coping mechanisms in mental health, what works for one, will not always be the way for another, in a similar situation balancing emotions and feelings.
Now what is in Canadian society around me, my emotions and feelings are hampered by hurt this Friday the 13th, I was rejected from somewhere for my unjust criminal record, being present in my recent past. No matter what I try to do, there is always a stumbling block in my path, that makes this life in Canada impossible to succeed. Just march to the pharmacy every night, no matter what the weather condition, and pop pills for the Courts, as a reject from society with a criminal record, supposedly controlled by a chemical treatment plan. Tax dollars fighting tax dollars in the Courts with Lawyers, Judges and Psychiatrists doing me in with tax dollars, tax dollars dishing out the pills at the pharmacy, and I pay the price of life with tax dollars paying to feed, and house me. I get tired of it, who wouldn't ? Stigma is alive and well like always, just gets dished out in different ways at various levels of society. Once judged in the Courts, there will always be some form of condamnation along the way, we humans can be vefor a second ry judgemental of character and nature, it is no easy ride through the mental health way of life.
When one door closes, it is like open a window for a breath of somewhat fresher air for yourself, meditate on it and pick another course of action to find relief from rejection. I got creative with an urban planning idea, and put it in writing. May be something will become of it with some effort put into the concept. Like everyone one else that needs money and security as we evolve with new health measures, while trying to do business when covid is still in our mists, I am determined to get out of the present living situation that I am in, I have out grown this place not drinking and smoking cigarettes. I invested in my water processing that I could bring to a more receptive environment of encouragement and backing.
