Doc GM
Here it is in the middle of November, snow came down today in Montreal, giving myself a chance to exercise a bit shovelling snow. It would be good to find a new place to live, the building where I reside right now, well it is on its last legs. With being a mental health consumer, I know the stigma from my Landlord's representative dishing it out to me, while not being a true Canadian but getting rich of the skin of the backs of others. Even my Social Worker in dealing with him, concluded that indeed he is a bigot as a Landed Immigrant. My very own parents were Landed Immigrants to this Country, but they tried hard to adjust and work at doing things the Canadian way, while still maintaining some of the old country's ways.
I am well rounded with a grounding staff though my faith and beliefs,, with a strong influence with my Scottish roots. I am not alone with my friends and family, that took me in their social circle in my nieghbourhood. With them I would have been lost coming out of long term care the way I did. It is like, do not go there, I now leave a lot of my past with psychiary in the hands of the legal office that I have right now. They have gotten to know me, so has my Pharmacist, from me having to take the psychiatric medication infront of the of the Phamacist for the Courts, along with a home visit once a week.
Through the home visits by the team of Medical Professionals that I try and work with, they get to see my art and engineering, such as my water processing system. There is no denial that my water filting procedure works, it is a form of occupational therapy within its self, along with my art and engineering that psychiatry once denied me for a period of time. I have been filtering water for cooking and drinking water since Oct 3rd 2022, it takes up a fair bit of ones time, note taking to record what I am doing. Along with revealing my notes and findings to other oraganizations, industries, and in my neibourhood to my friends and family, along with my Church that I attend. On my well filtered water, I am getting more of my health back and gaining weight, I have gained 2 lbs in a week. Being Sunday today, I get my weight taken again at the pharmacy when I go there, and take the Court ordered medication, which is more of a placebo effect. With watching my weight, I lost three pounds but have more muscle tissue on my body. Searching on the Internet I discovered that muscle is more dense to fatty tissue. My belly has firmed up and I am eating a whole lot better, on the change of medication that I fought for, even although I lost three pounds. I know from the past that one will lose some weight firming up before putting on muscle mass. When one is processing water, you are manipulating 4 Litre jugs of water that are about 10 lbs each, which makes for exercise on a regular basis through out the day.
Funny how ethnic backgrounds can make judging people in different ways a handicap, perhaps due to the ethnic background of individuals concerned. The first Social Worker that my Landlord's representative talked to on my behalf, was a female. Yesterday a male Social Worker of mine spoke to the building's representive, there was no problem, then again the second Social Worker was a male. Different ethnic groups treat women in different ways, my first Social Worker that spoke to the building management was a French Canadian female, how she preceived the Landed Immirgrant gentilman, could have been stereo-typical differences from backgrounds of each other.
Here I sit not knowing what to write, fustrated once again over having no one to have converse with. Knowing what I hear in the media, while having no side kick to discuss what the media is saying, and not handle it alone. Rumours float a bit too quickly like inflation, I have become well known in my neighbourhood, but housed up for the cooler less comfortable days, with the mish mash of what we now call gobal warming and server weather patterns to a northern winter we are faced with now. The COP15 summit is in Montreal and people are voicing their concerns over the state of what has been done to the Planet. I know the results of my water processing, and the God awful state of the St Lawrence river where we draw our water for consumption, how I make the city water somewhat better than what the city provides. I am even buying and filtering bottled water, for consumption in cooking and drinking when I do not get enough city water processed. There was a program on TV about a research ship for water analysis on the seaway that flows through Quebec, it was a lot to handle knowing something about water myself and what I am getting out the tap.
What came out of my finger tapping over 18 years on the keyboard, some things should never have come out of me, it came from suppresssion and denial, it made me a very angry person. I still trying to pull out of suppression and denial, without having bitter sarcasm being published on the net by me, . Responsiblity came about through some reconition of what I accomplished with my water and theology paper in Google Drive. Even doing my water paper, it was done in the stupidest environment I have to live with, in this aging building that is wearing thin on my nerves. I still have the nervous disposition about myself, I stopped smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol, my Doctor knows I still smoke some pot and I express my need of help to get off it. The Pharmacist also knows I smoke, while realizing my situation where I say it is better than valium, and I am also followed by a lung Doctor at this point in my life. I am first to admit mariquania has an addictive nature like tobacco, that is why I need help to stop, like I had tools and help to quit cigarettes. There is still tar in some form in smoking pot that one has deal with, all the chemicals identified in cigarette smoking, to get medical mariquania as a base for a combustion process known as smoking, to lead researchers as a guide for medical consumption of pot with intention to quit.
Through all the years in mental health, I was always deemed unfit for work, but worked any way. Now as of this new year I am fit by some capacity for work, by a Quebec sponsored program and financing accordingly. It can not be held against me that I am unfit for work on documentation any more. I am fit by some capacity to earn a living, no matter how much or how little, I still get the reward of earning a living to some degree, while not being used as cheap labour by the stigma of mental health, which has been present against a person like myself when working or looking for work. Writing and editing my blog is work, my art and engineering is work, which I went to school to do these activities for purpose of duty to grow for self financing. Today's modern age, with computer technology, who is not fit to work in some capacity somewhere or somehow.
