How Is One To Express Themself, When The Stupidity of Psychiatry Rules Their Life
Honestly, I am sick and tired of this life ruled by the Courts and psychiatry, and what does the Psychiatrist care? The system has had me walking to the Pharmacist every night to take medication infront of one of them. No one cares about the side effects of being over medicated for my skill level and aptitude, to the point where once again a female Psychiatrist has taken my sperm away with medication. I suppose she has got side effect medication to give my sperm back as well, which I doubt. Like she said to me, "I do not care about your sperm" While being alone with this issue, when their are 9 staff members getting a pay cheques, just backing up the Psychiatrist and doing me in with a chemical treatment plan. I am not suppose to bitch and complain, just swallow pills, all at tax dollar expense, while the system provides nothing in return. If I want treatment, I am to go to psychiatry emergency, for what? More wasted money with Doctors sticking together like glue, when they are doing in one of my testicals as a end result of their chemical treatment plan, that I have to follow or they will send the Police after me. Some body want to correct me for being wrong about this? I should not be feeling like this about the system, I have lost faith in it.
I wake up and get my vitamins in me, with a bit of a snack. Until I wake up from the sluggish body from the pills the night before. The testical is still sore, I will have to now pop some pain killers. This all came about from a urinary track constipation induced by the antipsychotic pill consumption. Where there is after drip when ending to urinate occures. Well what now, I just heard on the radio that Doctors resent my comment about sticking together like glue. Well the Psychiatrist and medical profession say I hallucinate radio and TV, so the antipsychoatic medication is not working but giving unjust side effects. I am sitting alone wondering who to call for my testical issue? All I get is an answering machine from my mental health system, I managed to get an appointment with my GP's Nurse, one problem, getting there on the other side of town where one needs a car.
Hopefully when I get to my GP's Nurse, something will be done with the over salivation I am experiencing as another side effect of the psychiatrict chemical treatment plan, I am tired of the drouling and spitting saliva when I talk. I do not make for good company as a result of this, just driven more into isolation from the mental health experience. For their medicale advice over the saliavation, they want me to put another chemical under my tongue, what I am suppose to do? Submit to thier money making medication skeme, off the skin from under my tongue? Then who in their right mind would want a medicated saliva kiss? I have lived and functioned on less medication in the past, without all these complications.
Then as another side effect, the medication changes my focal point for my bi-focal glasses, which I just bought last Novenber/December. I do not believe what my life has become, being a lonely public pill popper for the Courts. I admit I have been in this position most of my life, somehow for the pain of it, I will puff on a bit of pot in a small pipe, it is also a way to get food into me through assisting me to feel like eating. I withheld writing these issues, hoping to have some workable treatment plan, one gets no where in this Court ordered system of psychiatry, yet to find away to over come into a healthier situation with some basic life essentials. More than likely be the death of me trying to achieve something better for a life.
After my meal thought, how I feel betrade by the system that educated me, as I educated myself within the system. Logic process in my mind, like a game of chess, but developed in engineering line of thinking, to survive what I have been through. It still gets dam depressing trying to succeed with my tool box of ideas, such as processing water for health, helping in colonscopy which I did with the evidance of positive results when practiced. Why was I stopped from processing my water several times from sabotage, like other engineering interlectual property I conceived over the years. I am still waiting for returns from old investments in time and energy from years gone by, to a lot of my art I put together over periods of my life.
My bitterness comes out in my writing, now I have extrapyramidal side effects from long term use of antipsychotics again. They have come back once more after being free of EPSE for some time. I made a short video of my contractions, and emailed it searching for help. I know I am drinking too much coffee, which does not help the situation any, where does one turn when the system works against you. This posting has become mess up thoughts, frustration at its peak, I have to leave soon to go to the pharmacy for the ritual pill popping.
How to edit all that I have written, now that I am home knowing I am a mixed bag of emotions. The years have come and gone, eight years since coming out of long term care. That time period slanted the system against me, I am now off the drug that started my urine after drip as a result of urinary track problems, the Doctor said I was getting older, I did not swallow that too good. The problem started on a certain drug and I mention this fact to my attending Psychiatrist, after he started my prescription. Now I have the problem full tilt and yes off the one certain drug. Like one TV Doctor said, "Sometimes the patient knows..." I knew my body at that time, I was donating blood and all before long term care, my first arrest was the mind blowing part to the psychiatric record for the Courts.
Why was I suppressed the way I was? I always heard it stemmed from south of the border, Americans did not want me to succeed or something, I wrongfully did American bashing out of it, who is suppressing who around me.? All I know is the media attention is real and I am alone with the gossip of a grape vine. I never knew what my brother was up to in life, I only hear rumours of what he has done, which was not exactly for the benefit of man/woman kind.
With regards to my comment on how Doctors stick together like glue, my science of theology and water paper that I put together as a visionary schizo/genuis, with my filtering process. Doctors seem to admit the healthier benefits of cook and beverage water that go through my process of filtering by gravity. People admit what I accomplished by doing the filtration process for themselves, and getting their own results. All in the benefit of human kind, sharing medicine through Doctors of Medicine and Engineers Without Borders, with myself being an associate member of Engineers Without Borders, as an Engineering Technician.
It came about that I did a search on the rhesis babies, comparison to schizophrenia, and yes indeed there is a known link. Then answering to the Godly science of medicine, justifing myself with schizophrenic issues from a young age. I trained myself diligently for certainly being with the spirit and stategy, in the fabric of my being, coming of age with knowing my schizophrenia from my birth, through the education stages and backed by medical records. Forestalling a clash of interests, staying calm trying to be of reserved spirit. Yet still in strong spirit as much as possible, hoping not to cause unsettling accounts of experiences but do. I studied my own strategies to become indepth of my own winning spirit, to have the financial victories for oneself as in yesteryear. Tomorrow should then surface as a victory that becomes easier for survival, as a financially rewarded person, for stature of place in a largely unrewarding structured society, one falls into with the associated stigma complexities and practice of mental health.
The logical deduction of a basically lonely life, is to thrive for something, a meaning to the pharmacutical science for a chemical treatment plans for the "schizo" state of being, lost in a unresolved confused thinking process for lack of social life with others. I have been there, taken to hospital and adapted back with some norm quickly, around the social structure of being an inpatient. I used to always work with the hospital staff on the ward, I had methods to lead telling the staff engineering problems with the ward, sometimes I was deemed delusional around my engineering when I was not. The Nurses and BAP's on the inpatient side of things, knew I worked closely with student nurses on the mental health team, giving them visionary thought of automating the equipment that they were learning to use on rounds. I showed inpatient staff air and water filtration. I told them to take the concept to the engineering students from their schooling system. Why am I still alone if I have all these assets of inspiration from engineering.?
Here today being Sunday within my time span of writing my posting, I am left thinking about the concept of sin. I once came up with the word Envirosin, as a way to admit to doing things that were not so eco-friendly to the planet. Then it became Intersin on the net, firing away wrongfully as an end result of suppression and bullying keeping me in poverty. My Psychiatrist deems me delusional about media attention and being a public figure in art and engineering. I have had to deal with this situation for too long now, since I became aware of the media vine of attention, like a political hot potatoe in some cases, with reference to my situation being made.
I have become well known in my neighbourhood, I always related the words "my brother the old pirate bought I, sold I , thought he owned I". stemming from a musician's song of redemption, I sure relate to his lyrics. When I think back, going through the Courts in mental health, I was never treated like a person of engineering stature, even when I offered to pass the Judge's glass of water through my water filters. I am still fighting to get proper space to process my water through the filters I developed, with the reverse osmosis system, by using different coloured spectrums of light, in a time laps setting.
I also have put together a window filter, and installed it in my kitchen window, at the same time my air circulating fan has a filter on it. I am yet to put up a second filter in my main room that I rent to sleep etc.. My community on my street know me as the little Engineering Technician, that earns his keep with their help, while I invest in my proto-types, which are my design and fabrication side of my company, investing in my conventional products inclusive of my conventional art products. I am an Engineering Technician first, schizo/genuis second, one feeds the other in skill development with schooling and work to over come mental health issues, no matter who you are or location on the planet Earth. I had to come up with my own occupational therapy, while on the Psychiatrist's the chemical treatment plan in mental health, chemical treatment plans do not work alone.
With the times being what they are, I am posting this peice of charcoal drawing, how to be a gentilman, and honouring the passing of Queen Elizabeth II. I always believed in the Queen, and prayed she would see affairs of the Throne through, to the best of her ability.
I enjoy challenges, here is one challenge for someone to answer for me, how is it a person that does not read or write English nor French, how can said people get a driver's licence in Quebec, or run a honourable business as an owner, to owning property. I get by doing work self employed through my company Creations Doc GM here in Quebec, and Doc GM Creatilons in the rest of Canada, by knowing how to read and write for taxes etc. It is just how to curtail this lack of education situation, that has landed imirgrants succeeding more than others in this country called Canada. My parents were landed imirgrants, I got no problem with individuals from these roots, it is how to work together for fair wage between both business associetes, without scamming slave labour out of a Canadian that is educated like myself. There are labour laws and wage control in Canada, the present system fails when people in general end up working for next to nothing, and the rich get richer off slave labour, using people while breaking labour laws by Canadian standards. This does go on, I got used as a slave in my neighbouthood by a "bull shit" Landed Immirgrant, who is a business person that used me and my psychiatric financial benetfit for my income, during a time period, when I was proving I can work while taking my mental health medication. The business person I was involved with, was getting me to work but with me getting caught up in not being paid for services. If one can not read or write english and french, how does one make an informed vote as a Canadian citizen? To filling in government paper work and all, I know this goes on, but how do they get off with it?
The supper time News was interesting how a manufacture gave French lessons to his multilingular staff of Landed Imirgrants, so that they could better themselves in the system insituted for language protection of Quebec's French speaking community. Going way back I had an employer that would pay for my electrical lessons in school after work, in passing the course it would get paid for, and a pay raise insentive, that was when I came back from the coast dazed and confused with my schizo issues. It was my first job in Montreal related to the engineering field, I have since built a solid engineering back ground, from ships to land based production establishments, of invested money for jobs in the Canadian economy.
Fishing through my blog, I do not remember all the bashing on the net that I did. Why did Bush say what he did, appairently he was another politician that had a gripe about me before I knew it myself. How sorry it got, when too many people got out of line running my life and denial of who I was, to who I became as a man, working through a mental health system since 1984. I started writing my blog the beginning of 2004. Now I am in control of certain aspects of my life, still forging away in art and engineering, physical labour, along with writing to have a honest bill in my pocket once again like I acheived in my youth.
