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Saturday, November 24, 2007

A Doodle I Did Waiting For My University Class To Start, For My Up Date On My Situation
Well here I am trying to find words for my posting as the end of November 2007 is approaching, at times I still do not know what to make of it all. I do not want to write another rant about the stupidity of my treatment but I will end up touching up on it in this posting. Over all, the school semester has gone rather well and I really enjoyed the class. Next week is the last class of the semester and I have to hand in my portfolio on my creative process I have achieved over the last three months. I learned quite a bit about writing and the process that is involved, which led me in new directions in my writing process. I got somethings down on paper that have been in my head for a while, along with learning what my weakness' are in the writing process.

As for my follow up at the hospital, well that is as stupid as usual. My Doctor and new Nurse want to increase my medication levels again, it is like they can not accept me for who I am and a change of medication level is going to make the difference to my personality. Either increasing my medication or adding another prescription, like they did, is going to do nothing but slow me down and make sleep more. It is like as if ,I fart the wrong way in front of the Doctor or Nurse, I get more medication prescribed. My parents find no problem with me, nor do the people I deal with on a regular bases. Other than my ensuing anger with the Hospital ruining my life when I stood up for the Canadian National Building Code, when I came across gyp rock being installed over old plaster illegally. I used to earn a living from $14/hour to $18/hr, now I am reduced to Provincial Welfare levels.The Hospital will not admit they pumped me full of drugs unnecessarily because mobster type people said I was delusional about my claim that the gyp rock over plaster style of renovation is wrong and should not be done. The biggest joke at my session at the Hospital last week, was getting a laugh out of the Nurse, when I said the Hospital should teach patients how to masturbate themselves to sleep, instead of the Psychiatrist always prescribing sleeping pills. All this was over the Nurse being pushy towards me regarding the will of the Doctor to medicate me more. It was even mentioned to medicate me to the point where I no longer have my apparitions/hallucinations, all that would gain is making me lose more of my life and I would not be able to get A+ or A-, like some of my marks in University that I have achieved this semester. Psychiatrists should prescribe more music therapy, art therapy, cogitative therapy, stress management, gym class and going back to school to prevent patients from becoming pill popping couch potatoes. I could really make a rant over it but it is not worth it, the Pharmaceutical Companies get rich with the Psychiatrists over prescribing at the expense of Provincial Welfare budgets! Never mind psychiatric patients that work under the table on medical certificates, I always made ends meet being a legal beagle and I am the first to admit it is really hard to make ends meet on Welfare, but I always invested in myself to get off the Welfare budget!

So I have a sketch of myself in this posting image, the little man and the natural magic mushrooms in my genetic make up, that give me my religious apparitions/hallucinations, that the Hospital calls just mere hallucinations. Well, I am happy having such a source of inspiration for art and writing and I am not hurting anyone, nor am I delusional over my approach to the subject matter. The Hospital Medical Science really has to go back to school like me and learn to accept the science of Theology. Theology has become a science with carbon dating of ancient scrolls etc and I have studied some Theology at the University level. Psychiatrists and I will never find a common ground, they will always insist on medicating more than necessary and I will always fight back to be the person I enjoy being, at my reasonable accommodating medication levels.

(Note: The population of Montreal for 2007 is 1,039,500, with 1% of the population being persons with schizophrenia, 1% say are bipolar, that makes 20,790 mental health consumers between the two diagnosis. Lets say 10,000 hold down a real job, volunteer work or are in a mental health program, that leaves 10,790 that need some form of follow up treatment between English and French Hospitals, to get back working somehow either in a real job or volunteer work. Lets say 790 are dysfunctional or are Institutionalized. I can assure my readers there are not 5000 mental health consumers in the English Hospital system actively enrolled in the rehabilitation system, so how many pill popping couch potatoes do we actual have? I heard my apartment building has quite a few! It would be something else to hear the actual statistics! Detox patients are not calculated in these approximate calculations and there are always new people entering the mental health system)

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Art Work Of An Apparition/Hallucination That I Had During This Past Summer
During the later part of this past summer, when I was laying in my sofa/bed with the lights off, I had the above apparition/hallucination. Just before I had the sighting, I was reflecting to myself on my ancestors. Where did my blood line originate from with my family coming from Scotland? I have always felt close to my Scottish heritage and proud of it! I was just thinking to myself, where did the Scottish people originate from coming out of cave people? There are lots of theories dealing with the origin of the human race and some of these facts were running through my mind when I had the above apparition/hallucination. Right away the image I saw, which I reproduced in art with oil pastels, made me think of Noah's Arc, as it does look like what is portrayed as Noah's Arc from Biblical stories. In my family name, when it is translated from Gaelic, it means "son of a boat man". So here it got me thinking about the great boat man himself, Noah. Do my roots go back to the blood line of Noah? It would explain the part with being a son of a boat man. After all Noah was the greatest boat man of all time if you believe in Biblical stories. On the other hand, I have done some reading in the past on the mythical city of Atlantis and when it supposedly fell. It was felt in the book, that I read on the subject , when Atlantis fell there were survivors that made it to other parts of the World by boat, once again here comes in the concept of a great boat man as some survivors of Atlantis. Now I was stuck with two options to question, which lead on to some other ideas of thought. What if the great city of Atlantis fell due to loosing the powers of its Godly force that fueled its foundations. If this was the case and a great flood of the World was created to destroy Atlantis, was it Noah in another part of the World that had the premonition from his God to build a great Arc in preparation for what was going to be this great destruction of the World for the fall of Atlantis? Now from the book I read on Atlantis, it was felt that the survivors of Atlantis made it to Egypt and helped build the great pyramids with their technology. I have come across information that the Scottish bag pipes can be found inscribed inside the walls of the pyramids of Egypt. No further ahead with figuring things out on the origin of the of the Scottish people, I was also left with the thought that may be there was more than one great arc of similar design, Noah's and one carrying survivors from Atlantis and dropping them off on higher ground, like the hills along the coast of Scotland or Noah dropped some people off along the coast of what became Scotland. I was left no further ahead with coming to a direct answer to my original pondering but felt quite amused with having experienced the apparition/hallucination when questioning the roots of the Scottish people. When you take the fact that Celtic art forms have a similar type of style as that of the North American Indian, where was I left with the puzzle in my mind. There are always survivors from any great disaster and as a strong survivor of the the Mental Health System, I was left flexing the muscle of my mind to believe that I am somehow a descendant of Noah, the Great boat man, or a great boat man from the mythical city of Atlantis with both being survivors of the great Biblical flood and perhaps the fall of Atlantis. Either way, it keeps me amused and I enjoy how my apparitions/hallucinations help guide my thinking process in a positive fashion, along with giving me entertaining subjects to do art and write about in a healthy way.