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Saturday, November 20, 2004

Producing Better On Guitar While On Pills
Now that I am on three milligrams of haldol I can play my guitar a lot better due to not having such stiff muscles. I find my self more motivated and picking up the guitar more often now. As a matter of fact my guitar lessons have started up again with the music therapist at the hospital, she has student s with her right now, allowing me to get some lessons in. The guitar is an avenue where I can get to use the seven colours of creation, which I named for coloured lights that I see. Along the neck of the guitar I will some times see the coloured light flashes as I am playing. It has a role in how I can some times do finger picking with it a bit. When I am relaxed enough with my playing I feel that I would be possible to focus more on seeing the colours of creation along the neck of the guitar and come up with a melody with them being the source of inspiration. I would like to become accomplished on guitar and recorder enough to put music to my art shows. I meet once a week at the out patients clinic with a group of adults along with an animator from the school board. He leads us as we pursue the arts with his developed expertise in this field. We call our selves the Birk's House Artists and have started a free web page to show our creative talent. Our work can be seen at www.freewebs.com/birkshouseartists. I my self have what I call my first four human picorial thoughts done under the pen name Doctor Goober Modesty. The one thing that did happen on the court ordered injections is that my art and music took a direction and I have recently got together with a couple of old friends batting around creative ideas surrounding the arts. In effect I am starting to get my life back after getting off the injections. Even my girl friend of common law notices the difference in me. I have become a lot more active and not prone to doing nothing productive with my time. Good reading and hope you enjoy the Birk's House Artist's work if you take a look at the web site.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Early Parole from Court Ordered Injections is Achieved
After the meeting with the Doctor and the nurse where we discussed my side effects, working to a solution, it was like a plea bargain. I agreed to take 5 mg of haldol daily, while continuing to see the nurse once a week for now due to being on such a low dosage. I had been taking the same dosage when I meet my present girl friend, for us it seems like a sense of accomplishing some thing after the court order. I have been on the pills for one week now and I have never felt better it seems. I only had one bad day in the transistion. It was like I felt adrenaline flowing through my body and all most like feeling an energy shell around my body after a couple of days of not getting the injection and starting the pills. The pills started at a 2 mg dose to work up to 5 mg over a month. On the seventh day I feel fine and morally feeling a lot better from not having to suffer from side effects this past week. It is like a great burden has been lifted and I am feeling more energetic and motivated. It was crushing for me to be on the injections because it seemed like I had no control over my situation, I was being controlled by the system with an end result being torturing side effects. When I think back over the two years I have accomplishment my web art show with Ami Quebec which can be viewed at amiquebec.org in the Out There Magazine under my pen name Doctor Goober Modesty in the art section. I have also taken part in three expo art sales at the out patient clinic where I am seen by the medical staff. While these two years passed I was not able to accomplish that much but my art took a sense of direction. I have also had guitar lessons at the hospital through a music therapist. The lessons are starting up again with the student music therapist that is doing her on the job training at the hospital right now. So I am trying to stay active as I work out this new lease on life on the three week early parole from court ordered injections.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Side Effects Still Affecting My Life
Now that I am getting my injections once a week so the peak of the side effects are not as bad. As soon as I start feeling good and comfortable about my self , while keeping busy it is time to go for another injection. My Doctor saw me about two weeks back he and saw for him self the torturing muscle contractions in my stomach. It is so severe at times that it takes away ones ability to stay focused while trying to do something to keep my mind occupied. My Docotr tried to get me on a new injections drug that has no side effects, unfortunately the application to the Government to have this new drug was not accepted at this time. I see the Doctor before my injection on Monday to discuss a plan B to resolve the side effect issue. According to the Doctor it is usually harder for new younger receivers of medication, that have a really hard time with the side effects. As you get older it is supposed to be easier to take the medications with less complications, unfortunately for me it seems to be in a bit of reverse. I am on the same drug and dosage that I was on years ago and I did not live through these torturing side effects. These side effects have hampered my life for two years now, it is like the Doctor said " its when the cure defeats it purpose" that some thing has to be done. I some times wonder due to the fact that I consumed alcohol a fair bit when I was on this medication last, if the beer acted like a side effect medication, would that be a laugh and a half. I will keep an up date what happens.