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Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Not Much Has Changed In My Life And I Have Not A Whole Lot To Do
My life has not changed much the last while, leading a pretty boring life with not much to do except visit my Mum. I did receive the last of the court ordered injections and now the idiot Psychiatrist wants to go back to court to get more court ordered injections for me which induce extra pyramidal side effects. This new Psychiatrist that I have who has only seen me three times says it is not extra pyramidal side effects that I have. Sure they can contradict each other at whim but you can not reason with them. I had a nervous break down when I was younger and the Psychiatrist will not listen to me, they all are bent on calling me delusional around some of my media attention and insist on medication that causes unpleasent side effects. What is wrong with me seeing a Psychiatrist while on no medication and sorting out this confusion around my case story. I did have problems rebuilding my life after the nervous break down and my parents put me in hospital several times, besides the stigma of psychiatry getting me put away by other people as well. No one ever dealt with the issues, all you get is medicated, the only time you see a Nurse in hospital is medication time, and it is like when you speak of issues you are deemed delusion. In effect stigmatized by psychiatric staff. I have 30 years experience as a psychiatric patient so I think I speak with some authority. First and foremost, how does an injection of a drug change a person's thought pattern,the drug is to stop hallucinations which makes a person delusional. What happens if a person is happy with certain hallucinations or spiritual experiences and does not go delusional, do they need medication then at tax payers expense? Why should a Psychiatrist keep a patient on a certain drug if it has undesirable side effects? How come nothing has been resolved around my psychiatric issues and Psychiatrists think a drug is going to solve my problems. The Psychiatrist said to me I have problems with my neighbors off medication, which is a load of crap,my Mother's neighbor harassed me and I got put away basically over a defective hearing aid of my Mother's. I get stigmatized and and psychiatric drug is going to solvev that problem, I do not think so, but a Psychiatrist is God at tax payers expense. My Lawyer even admits she is powerless against the Psychiatrist, and a Judge will only side with a Psychiatrist that wants to play God, so either way I get done in by a system that sucks. Psychiatrists may resent me calling them idiots but Montreal radio called them idiots today too over my story. Like I have written before, the psychiatric system has a lot to be desired, medication alone is not the answer, I am tired of being told I am delusional when I'm not and forced to take medication that has undesirable side effects, as much as I am resented by the system, I personally resent how I have been treated by Psychiatrists with their over bearing nature and lack of understanding for what I went through as a mental health consumer.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Still have no life and nothing gets resolved as a mental health consumer
I have one more court ordered injection to go, as of August 1st I am no longer under the court order. The whole ordeal was a load of crap and I still got the Tribunal to deal with for getting arrested unjustly by a media personality when I was trying to prove to my treatment team that I had some media attention. No matter what I tried I could not succeed and getting arrested for harassment was one part that ruined my psychiatric record along with standing up for the National building code against gyp rock over plaster installations. I was institutionalized so many times by my ex and her family at this point in my life and the Psychiatrists never stood by me and my plight that I was fighting for. When I reached out to a media personality that seemed to pick up my story I was arrested for it.Then this lead to a worse psychiatric record with Psychiatrists slandering me at Tribunal hearings. No Psychiatrist took any regard for things I did to try and succeed fighting for justice against gyp rock over plaster installations. I remember when it was on the radio that they were not allowed to interview the guy that stood up for the National building code against gyp rock over plaster. If I had a media interview at this time perhaps I could have amounted to something with the publicity, but no I ended up getting done in and deemed delusional by Psychiatrists for having media association. It was on the radio recently,something should have been done for me at this point in my life. Instead I ended up on disability pension due to the onslaught of extra pyramidal side effects due to long term use of psychiatric medication and it being administred in excessive amounts on court orders while I was trying to do the right thing mouthing off about gyp rock over plaster installations.Then I latched onto a media personal.ity as she picked up my story while doing the weather reports on the local news. I had several one way email correspondances with her and even sent her some art samples. When I left two phone messages at her local at the TV station a guy called me and we talked. I asked him to contact my Nurse to enlighten him that I did indeed have some media attention and was not delusional about it. A short time later the police showed up at my door and I was arrested for harassing the female media personality. I was rail roaded in court and my Lawyer at the time advised me to plead guilty and get off criminally not responsible due to mental health. For if I went to trial and found guilty I could go to jail. So now I am still tied up with the Tribunal hearings where I feel I just get slandered by Psychiatrists, end up getting angry over it and then get put away in hospital over issues  that are resolved and I just get more court ordered injections administred to me. Even when I mention to the Psychiatrist that Politians have refered to me on the news I get told I am delusional and thaworryoliticians do not even know who I am.
So now I have no life and live with media attention and get deemed delusion by Psychiatrists for believing in this. I worry what is going to happen to me when my aging Mother does eventually pass away, I will have no one.My brother does not have any thing to do with me and I have no other family in Canada.Life has lost its meaning and I have no avenues to turn to except my Internet presence, to think there is a whole country out there and I will be spending Canada Day alone again. C'est la vie!! 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Not doing A Whole Lot With My Life But I Thought I Would Write Any Way
Time passes fast and I a writing my present blog posting with not much happening in my life, I did do one piece of art recently and have played some guitar. I am back reading some Aristotle from a book in kobo I bought while in hospital. I comment a bit on philosophical thought in Facebook as I get through the book on Aristotle's ethics. I do have to get more into playing my guitar but at times I procastinate playing the instrument. I did pick up the mouth recorder and practice this instrument the other night, I got to practice this instrument more too. Today I was constructive with my time and caught up on some taxes that I am behind on. When my life fell apart with the illegal entrances and getting bugs in my paper work I fell behind on the taxes. Yesterday I went to the Regie d' Entreprise and filed a annual declaration for my company, it doesn't make all that much money it barely exsists on the books but I pay on my taxes to protect my company name for when I do make money again on my welfare income.
There are still media reports about me as I plug away at my life and then there are the extra pyramidal side effects that I have to contend with from the court ordered injections. Even if I do not take the injections after Aug 1st, things are such a mess for I still have the Tribunal Administrative to deal with fromng arrested. Through Aristotle I try and equate the injustices I went through in the court system and ended up feeling that I was railroaded to some degree. There was even a Judge that wanted to give me a lobotimy. What I went through when I passed through court after getting arrested. It was just another one of several events that ruined my psychiatric track record, for I always tried working with the heavy handed Psychiatrists with their medication stipulations. I don't denie I needed a psychiatric diagnoses to rebuild from a nervous break down in my youth, psychiatrists and the virtues of medicine can be over bearing sometimes.
I still get together with my Mum and see my brother on occassion at my Mother's. My brother more or less led his own life and never had a whole lot to do with me. I do not know what I would do if my Mum past away from old age, I still have stuff at her place that I can not see to putting in the room where I rent. Then there is the stuff I would inherit that I have no place for. It would be one hell of a cross roads when Mum passes for I would be alone with the system and trying to succeed at something with all strikes against me. Either way I am pretty well left to rebuilding my psychiatric record on my own like usual. Part of me feels scared of the hospital with the Doctor on the ward, I would hate to end up in hospital under his care again for he sees me in such an unrealistic light compared to my true nature. It is like I wrote in Facebook, who was the first to judge me wrongly. The Psychiatrist certainly did, even getting a bit of a fair shake in the media with some of the exposure I get, the hospital does not seem to understand what I am faced with. One can feel like a number in the system and not justly cared for when part of psychiatry. It is now like I have something to prove to Psychiatrists on a daily bases, that I have limited schizophrenic tendances and can live without the medication that induces the extra pyramidal side effects.Even the woman from the media that I suppositly harassed and got arrested for, said she would make things up to me, well I am still waiting and time is running out to set the facts straight to the Tribunal and the Psychiatrists. At least I have my blog to set a few facts straight about myself but it does not settle the score for the recent injustices in me life that made things a mess around my living situation. So while I continue to pick up the peices of my life I bid farewell.