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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

It Is Stupid What Has Gone On Around My Life And Some People Have Some Explaining To Do
So much has gone on since I first started my blog and I'm pissed with how my life has turned out. I only went on a couple of rants on my blog due to media attention around my life. While in the homeless missions I ranted about declaring war on the United States of America, that was due partly to George W Bush as President saying on TV, "If anyone does anything for the telepath there will be war" and I have a complex about telepathy with my mental health condition. Then there are media rumours that my Google money was or has been seized by Bush and Prime Minister Harper, I do not know what to believe.If I had Google money I would not have ended up in the homeless missions.
Then there are media reports that I am condemed as a Priest in poverty which is a load of crap and it pisses me off royaly. With all this media attention around my life why can't I get a media interview to clear the air about a few things that are being said about me. Certain media reports play over and over vin my head and I do not know what to do about it. From the stress of some of the media reports surrounding my life and excessive caffiene from drinking coke I get the involuntary muscle contractions in my stomach and mouth which I should not be getting since I am on a low dosage of pillso control them instead of the injections. I relapsed with trying to quit smokingvand I am smoking again. I did not bad not smoking staying with my Mum but when I came back to the room by myself I could not handle it and started smoking again. As I am typing there are media reports about my story on the radio and I do not know what to make of it all, so till later I'm signing off. 

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

It is my 54th birthday tomorrow and I must lead the most boring depressing life going
I have no life and it is depressing, no money to do any thing, no amount of friends and I spend most of the time alone listening to the radio or going to my mother's and watching the News on TV. One thing I am trying to accomplish is giving up smoking. I am on day four with no cigarette being smoked, I only blasted the scattered bit of tobacco from the ash tray in a pipe before I got the Nicorette inhaler. What got me to give up smoking was getting a white lesion in my mouth from smoking according to my student dentist. did have a bit of a bad cough with flem from smoking for the greater part of 40 years. 
A lot of the time I am on the edge of tears the way my life turned out, now I really hate being a mental health consumer and can not stand the stupidity of dealing with Psychiatrists.I did get off the injections and on pills of my choise to control the involuntary muscle contractions I get between my stomach and mouth. The Psychiatrist does not even know me and he said that eventually he will get a court order to inject me with medication again thus inducing the involuntary muscle contractions once more.
The Psychiatrist wants me to get into my art again for something to do but I have no place to stock pile art for nothing and no real money to invest in art with no one to show the art to. what do I want to get back into art for, it makes no sense now.

I still have the Tribunal Administratif  to deal with after being unjustly arrested for harassment and forced to plead guilty to make things easy for my Lawyer at the time. That will be never ending crap in my life,the Tribunal even stigmatizes the patient as guilty with no understanding of the truth and not interested in finding out the truth. So I am stuck seeing a Psychiatrist and taking pills until the Tribunal hearings are over with one day.
So I lead a boring depressing life with no avenue to change any thing!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Not Much Has Changed In My Life And I Have Not A Whole Lot To Do
My life has not changed much the last while, leading a pretty boring life with not much to do except visit my Mum. I did receive the last of the court ordered injections and now the idiot Psychiatrist wants to go back to court to get more court ordered injections for me which induce extra pyramidal side effects. This new Psychiatrist that I have who has only seen me three times says it is not extra pyramidal side effects that I have. Sure they can contradict each other at whim but you can not reason with them. I had a nervous break down when I was younger and the Psychiatrist will not listen to me, they all are bent on calling me delusional around some of my media attention and insist on medication that causes unpleasent side effects. What is wrong with me seeing a Psychiatrist while on no medication and sorting out this confusion around my case story. I did have problems rebuilding my life after the nervous break down and my parents put me in hospital several times, besides the stigma of psychiatry getting me put away by other people as well. No one ever dealt with the issues, all you get is medicated, the only time you see a Nurse in hospital is medication time, and it is like when you speak of issues you are deemed delusion. In effect stigmatized by psychiatric staff. I have 30 years experience as a psychiatric patient so I think I speak with some authority. First and foremost, how does an injection of a drug change a person's thought pattern,the drug is to stop hallucinations which makes a person delusional. What happens if a person is happy with certain hallucinations or spiritual experiences and does not go delusional, do they need medication then at tax payers expense? Why should a Psychiatrist keep a patient on a certain drug if it has undesirable side effects? How come nothing has been resolved around my psychiatric issues and Psychiatrists think a drug is going to solve my problems. The Psychiatrist said to me I have problems with my neighbors off medication, which is a load of crap,my Mother's neighbor harassed me and I got put away basically over a defective hearing aid of my Mother's. I get stigmatized and and psychiatric drug is going to solvev that problem, I do not think so, but a Psychiatrist is God at tax payers expense. My Lawyer even admits she is powerless against the Psychiatrist, and a Judge will only side with a Psychiatrist that wants to play God, so either way I get done in by a system that sucks. Psychiatrists may resent me calling them idiots but Montreal radio called them idiots today too over my story. Like I have written before, the psychiatric system has a lot to be desired, medication alone is not the answer, I am tired of being told I am delusional when I'm not and forced to take medication that has undesirable side effects, as much as I am resented by the system, I personally resent how I have been treated by Psychiatrists with their over bearing nature and lack of understanding for what I went through as a mental health consumer.