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Sunday, October 31, 2010


Happy Halloween 2010
It was a rather simple Halloween for me with having no children, it was just Mum and I. I got up after sleeping in for a bit and had my cup of tea or two with a bagel then headed for my shit, shower and shave. As I was getting ready to head over to Mum's I did not think much of it being Halloween, it never even fazed me. After Mum got back from church she gave me a call that she was finally home and I headed over and got my welcoming bowl of hot soup. Afterwards Mum and I headed out to do her heavy shopping list with her little cart. We took the bus down the street to Super C grocery store and we went in to semi fill the shopping cart. It was the 11 lb bag of baking flour she wanted but the store was sold out. Mum enjoys shopping at Super C so we puttered around the store getting what Mum wanted. We then walked back to Mum's apartment with me trailing her shopping cart behind me. I must say even in Mum's old age, Mum is quite the thrifty shopper, always comparing size and weight to price for the true sale over all. When Mum and I arrived at her place we unpacked the cart and Mum made coffee to warm the bones for it was a day in Montreal where it was trying to snow. After coffee Mum and I sat down so I could give her practice at her cribbage game. Mum plays cribbage at the church every Tuesday and likes to have her practice with me for she sometimes misses out on points when counting her hand. After a game and a half of cribbage Mum's new recipe of chicken rice casorole was popped in the oven to warm up for supper. I suggested it be a TV diner with the News at 1800 hrs and Mum was OK for that with her knowing that I am a News buff. After the fine scoff of food for the main course, I made the tea in one of Mum's favorite tea pots, and served up what was left of Mum's apple pie. By the time the tea was finished the hour News broadcast was over and it was the dishes to tackle together. After the dishes I handled some of Mum's problems with Mum's jewlery, she wanted clasps changed about for the jewlery that she wears most often. As I was doing the little task for Mum she packed me my take home bag of left overs from supper. By just after eight o'clock I was heading home with my Halloween left overs from Mum's kitchen. When I got home I called Mum like usaul to let her know I was in the door and home safely. After putting my Halloween supper left overs in the fridge I got on the computer and cleaned up my email account for a fair bit of time, I still had a lot of junk in it from when I was hospitalized last January. As I checked the clock it was soon time to buy my evening beer as a night cap while getting the late night news on TV. When coming home I thought I would write about my Halloween this year, quiet with me and my Mum then my computer and I. The mask I am wearing in this posting is a Shaman mask I made for an art exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts here in Montreal when working under their guidance to produce art. The mask is made from plastacine being put on a hemp worked frame, the roots of the hemp plant are used to fill the face covering, while a crow's feather dangles from one side , with the holding handle being tied with soaked dryed hemp cut into tieing strips. A bit of bead work is added to the mask and it is a preserved hornet's nest in the forhead of the mask. Green hemp seeds make for the teeth in the mouth of the mask. At the museum art show in the community hall, I named the mask "Shaman mask a la Canadienne" Here it is just after midnight as I wind down typing up my blog posting for Halloween 2010 and I hope all went well for you as to my simple Halloween with my beloved Mum, God knows what I would without her, I would really have no one, that is hauntingly enough for me.

Sunday, October 24, 2010


Mental Health Day March Celebrated Here In Montreal Today

Part of the theme around the march is to combat the stigma of mental health issues, even Mental Health Workers have a way of holding the stigma against you and making you feel like you are a piece of dirt, through my experience. For example, not returning your phone calls as my Social Workers have done, Psychiatrists threating you at will during disagrements, strapping you to beds during hospitalizations, Psychiatrists writing and doing what they want with Lawyers and Judges doing in the patient in Court room with total disregard for patient needs etc, I could go on and on!!! Even a media personality used the stigma of pyschiatry against me with getting me arrested for harrassment charges when I tried approaching her for referring to my material and working mind in the arts!! Now I am considered a threat to society by the Courts which is a total load of crap! I would like to meet a career woman from Toronto and get the hell out of Montreal and Quebec because of the Court crap around me. I have other people besides the media personality that tried to put me in prison in Montreal, I need a new start in a new metropolitian cityand having a relationship with a career woman is like my only ticket out of poverty, yea be the house husband. It is just a silly dream to have a family and be happy with a woman, with the stigma of psychiatry out there the chances of it happening are next to nothing. I have a Tribunal hearing coming up in December because of the arrest and I will be treated like a delusional piece of dirt just like before. Due to the stigma of psychiatry my Lawyer does not even call me back, I got to phone and phone until I get a hold of her. If I was some sort of corporate client, the Lawyer would return my phone call when I leave a message. Psychiatrists will out right lie about medication and sex disfunction when one complains about it, as it suits their whim, I have so many examples of Professional stigma against patients it makes the whole system out to be a complete joke. When one goes to complain about injustices in the psychiatric department at the hospital, the Head Psychiatrist will not even call you back!!! The image in this posting is symbolic of two Psychiatrists and the Tribunal Lawyer doing me, bottom center, at Tribunal hearings!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

As The Sun Rose Over Montreal This Morning, I Took Pictures At
St Joseph's Oratory, To Honour The Canonization Of Brother Andre's Stainthood

Statue of Brother Andre On Oratory Grounds
The Small Chapel Which Was The Start Of The Famous Healings By Brother Andre

The Larger St Joseph's Oratory In The Over Cast Morning Sky
Note the face I captured in the clouds on the right side of the image

St Joseph's Oratory is a very special place to me even although I am baptized Protestant, for I always believed in the Devine Intervention of faith healing that came about through Brother Andre's work. Twenty three years ago this fall, I had my own miracle healing while praying to Brother Andre at the Oratory. During the night I had got my cornea scratched, possibly from welding dust from the day before at work. I headed off to the hospital emergency by taxi to get the standard exam and patch over the eye. When I was taken by the Doctor the cornea was indeed scratched ointment and a patch was applied and I was discharged from the hospital emergence. By this time it was sun up and I headed to St Joseph's Oratory to pray for healing. Partly to prove something Devine to the Medical Doctors because Psychiatrists could never accept my religious apparitions as to how I got diagnosed with schizophrenia in the first place. When I arrived at the Oratory I took to taking an isolated spot in the main Chapel and prayed to Brother Andre for his healing help for my eye, and removed the bandage on the eye then risened the ointment out with holy water and the eye did not hurt any more. So I then went back to the hospital emergence room to get the hospital to varify what had transpired at the Oratory. They were pissed I took off the bandage that covered my eye but a Doctor did re-examine my eye. He was a bit dumb founded for there was no more scratch on the cornea. He also checked my vision and all I could see was a pink haze infront of the eye chart as I read off the letters with good vision. The Doctor said it was strange that I saw the pink but dismissed it. The Man of mordern medicine could not accept my Oratory experience as I explained it to him and told me that the other Doctor that saw me first must have made a mistake on the diagnosis of my eye, and it could not have had a scratched cornea in the first place, but I knew it was scratched because it was not the first time my cornea has gotten scratched. I was discharged from the hospital with a clean bill of health after my second visit to the emergency after the Oratory. Do not try this, I could only do it due to my schizophrenic Shaman ways, it was to prove a point to the medicale staff because of the way they treated me like a dumb schizo all the time and would not accept my religious apparitions. It is a true story and medical records can be checked from 1987.
Here is a little thing done in my Music Group some time back:
Continual Call To God
As I find myself, as the song, a "Soldier of Christ",
I find a inner peace & contentment,
Forfillment & growth in a very rich Godly manner,
As I pursue theology and the arts,
A love of life again!
stand by while this post is being put together with information on Brother Andre and some history of the Oratory, it will take me a bit to complie my research

Friday, October 15, 2010


Out Of The Darkness Of Psychiatry There Is Light, I Finally Got Another Session With My Psychiatrist And The Session Went OK

As it turned out on Thursday past I had an appointment with my Psychiatrist, as things came to pass, I got off the injections and received a perscription for pills so I would not have the extra paramidal side effects or sexual disfunction due to medication. He was not a bad type of sort with me and is human after all. We talked and sorted things out, covering various aspects of my life. I admitted to him that I do not have enough to do with my time and he recommended that I get some volunteer work. I explained to him how the extra paramidal side effects hampered me and we discussed the injection, how accoeding to my Lawyer it was up to him to do something about the Court Ordered injections for she could do nothing about it. So I have my pills for a month and an appointment every two weeks to see how it goes for now, I explained to him that I have my blog and sometimes I do get media attention around what I write, depending who reads my blog. He seemed to accept this for I told him I worked at my Internet presences.As it stands right now, I fight off depression from having so much time on my hands, I always used to work while taking medication for my schizophrenia. Ever since I got bad bouts of extra parmidal side effects five years back, I have not held down a full time job. When I was up a fifteen foot ladder or so, and I got the EPSE while up the ladder, I more or less gave up working as a tradesperson. It has been a hard road having tried to work while taking medication, I went through quite a few recessions, when I did get a job and the psychiatric situation came out due to side effects of the medication, everything went wrong, I was no longer to be believed when arguing my point with concepts of engineering, the stigma of psychiatry got in the way!I did have a couple of good employers over the years, but in a way I was not ready during my rehabilitation years, it took quite a few years to accept my situation with schizophrenia.
I was at the music group which is held at the hospital this past week, it was a pretty good music session like usual.We even got some homework to write a couple verses of a song about joy, I started it and it felt good to be creative again, but I spend too much time alone with my creative process this last while. It has been hard trying to succeed as an artist/writer and I do get discouraged. It would be good if I could sell a piece of art every now and again but I do not know the people like others do to circulate my creative works. So as I plug away I hope more of a light comes into my life to liven it up somewhat and hopefully one day I can improve my income bracket from where I stand right now.
Image in this posting was inspired by Dexter Dalwood's 2005 painting Herman Melville