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Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Twenty Years This Year As A Mental Health Consumer

Normally accumulation of years are celebrated some how, but there is nothing to be proud of and no celebration. As it comes to pass I am nearing the end of court ordered injections, it has been a very argry time for me, as time came to pass I slowly mellowed out. A reflection of my anger is found in these creative piece I wrote after my injections. I had gone for coffee to write the feelings of resentment for my situation.

The Political Asylum

Over taken with the burden of the "schizo"
Every graduation through society's system
Reels me back a notch or two in survival
Its not my mind that rots my life as a "schizo"
Its how the system is designed for us not to survive
What is there to boost about the system
That processed me with the burden of the "schizo"

Over taken by the metaphysical, hence "schizo"
Changing in graduations through my psychological system
Taking back a notch or two in survival
Its not the metaphysical that rots my life,its the label "schizo"
The strive to design a system to better survival
Is where I have to boost about my system
To process the Political Asylum as not to be "schizo"

Mystic Prison

Caught up in the demolition of my sacred soul
The Courts rule the injected poison
Smothering my inner desires to be free
Of my dillusional medical over seer
Who is caught up in his own dogma of thought

My past is held against my intellect
The present brings conflicting idealogies
Which makes the future not so quite mine
Mordern science has put the mystic in prison
The psychiatric rule of thumb is up their ass

The power of ones mind is a delicate issue
It can self destruct the body of being
Then again it equates the justice of freedom
Finding balance throught the knowledge of the years
Which is disregarded with an injectable cure

The middle ground for survival is torment
Living out court orders is not a cure
It robs one of intellectual integrity
Dillusional at what may I ask
Being a mystic at heart and lived it

With the court order on me while looking for work, it is public knowledge through the Court House and comes out on back ground checks, which happens more often since 9/11 according to the RCMP. The only black mark on my record and now the Court House has it, twenty years after. (Note: Dec 19th 2007, I past in the court house for two smoking infractions and having a knife on me that was too big by Municiple Law over the years, things I forgot about while medicated and writing this post)I am still looking for work, to add to some building cleaning that I do once a week, while supported by my girl friend of common law. In the mean time I will just keep blogging and developing my art and learning to play music while looking for work.